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Being a Mother Runner requires FLEXIBILITY...and my last 2 workout recaps:) Oh and I get mother of the day award today!:/

Friday's 5 mile repeats workout had to get moved to Saturday b/c my 4yr old was up all night sick...of course Friday was nice weather and saturday was rainy and cold and WINDY! I live in the Columbia Gorge so we get BAD winds.....I don't love it.

I headed out Saturday morning around 9am to get 'er done!
I was NOT feeling it, but I've learned lately to just buck up and get it done b/c I want to arrive in Boston strong. If I'm paying that much money and travelling THAT far, you better believe I'm not gonna show up there with any regrets about my training that I had control over.

The workout John gave me called for 5 x 1mile at 6:30. If you remember last weeks workouts, they were progressive miles ending with a 6:05:) it was a Great workout, but John wanted me to be more consistent in my times this week.

Mile 1: 6:27
Mile 2: 6:17 (i knew I was headed in the "progressive" direction so I pulled back).
Mile 3: 6:25
Mile 4: 6:30
Mile 5: 6:33
The last 2 were so mentally challenging. I was FREEZING, it started to rain and it got really windy...the last mile I actually switched directions 3 times b/c the wind was too hard so that probably accounts for the slower time. I wanted to be done so bad,but it felt good to be DONE:)

Today I was supposed to run 20:) beautiful sunny day, so I was excited! only nice day forecasted all week!!! and I get to do my LONG run!! thank you God, right? Wrong!.
Drove 45min to Stephanies house b/c Erika has a cold and I couldnt' take her to preschool so Stephanie offered to watch her since her kids already had it. (bless your heart Steph, I sure am blessed to have you in my life!).

Well about 90 seconds before we arrived, Erika puked all over the back seat! I think it was car sickness b/c she gets that and she has been fine since, but the stomach flu IS going around and we couldn't risk it. So quick bath at Stephanies...change of clothes and BACK into the car for the drive home! lol...

I texted John and we decided to switch the week around!
so I did 8 x 800's on the TM instead today.

3:13 (6:27 pace, or 9.3 on the TM for all 8 of them). I didnt' even bother trying to do the last one faster.

I cannot run fast on the TM, it is so hard for me! does anyone else have this problem? I can run SO much faster on the roads.

Mother of the Day Award:
As if the day couldn't get any more interesting I recieve a text at 3:45 from Megans teacher asking where I am??:(:( Yup. I forgot my daughter at school. she gets out at 3:30.
Seriously...lol. WHAT. A. DAY! Have you ever forgot to pick up your child from school?
so I busted out the door and then was embarassed to go pick her up in my VERY short running shorts infront of her 35 yr old male teacher. seriously. The female teacher that was in the room couldnt' help but comment on how cold it is..."Especially when I'm wearing SHORTS!" :/ I get it lady, I get it.

Wednesday will be my 20 miler instead, and Saturday is my 10K Race!!!

This week is my highest mileage and probably peek mileage week....75 miles:)
So I don't know what to expect for time on Saturday, but I'm happy with a 41:xx anything on tired legs! it gives me confidence that on rested legs I could bust out a REALLy good 10K right now!!

Today taught me that I need to count my blessings and a Good reminder that I am a Mother Frist, and Runner Second. Hence the title " Mother - Runner".

I am thankful I have a treadmill at our apartment and that it has a sofa so Erika could lay there and watch a movie while I ran.
I am thankful for good friends willing to help me get a workout in
I am thankful I kept a smile on my face all day
I am thankful I was inspired to put a roast in the crockpot at 8am this morning b/c I dont' have to worry about making dinner now!
I am thankful for sunshine, it made this day alot easier to deal with

I am thankful that it's only 7 weeks to BOSTON and I feel STRONG and HEALTHY!
If you remember, my NUMBER ONE GOAL is: to get to Boston, Un-injured and not sick!!

peace-out friends!

I am not being a snob and Boston Training week 8 recap...

I am not being a SNOB:

Okay...I give up! why can't i post comments anymore?
I have been trying for 3 days! I can't post comments on any ones blogs or replies to the comments here?
I have spent so much time on a variety of blogs commenting and then I hit enter and nothing shows up and it's gone. I gave up re-writing them after a few times and it just kept doing it:(

Sickies...AGAIN? :/

Erika AND Steve are both sick.....and with 2 diff sicknesses. great. I have double the chances now of getting SOMETHING!
I really can't miss anymore key workouts.
I alreayd missed mile repeats this morning b/c I was up half the night with my 4yr old and now I have to make them up tomorrow.
I have my 2nd 20 on Monday and some more good workouts this week.
I have already prepared myself mentally that it is probably inevitable though and if I DO get sick again....this will be the 3rd time I miss a bunch of key components of training. TRYING not to dwell on the fact that I COULD be further ahead than I am.
do.not.think.about.it. Nicole.

This weeks RECAP:

So Sunday I ran my 10K which you can read about here and set a new PR.
I had to run another 8 miles that day which lead to 14 total miles...

then Monday was 15 progression which I was supposed to do slow since it sort of turned into a long recovery day. I felt pretty tired the last 5 miles, had to stop and stretch my hips quite a few times. Luckily I had Steph there to keep me going.
Then suddenly the last mile I picked it up...I'm weird like that sometimes...I wanted to see if I FORCED myself out of "tired and i don't want to run anymore" zone if I felt better...
well i did, last mile was 7:15...but the last QUARTER Mile, was like 5:45-6:15 pace and felt so good. strange run. ended up being an 8:15 average pace.

Tuesday: 5 recovery

Wednesday: 16 x 400 @ 1:30-1:35
Started out POURING rain so bad the track was flooded for the first repeat....so I waited a few minutes b/c I saw sun headed my way and it stopped! yay! made the rest of the workout SO much better!
here's how they went down:

1:26*** felt good pushing it more on the last one! ( i can't get it to stop highlighting) LOL

10.5 with Steph. Feeling REALLY Lethargic. Might be b/c I am getting my period....the week before is always REALLY hard for me with running/workouts....remember the whiny Hill workout post , yeah...well that was right before my period too:)

Today: SUPPOSED To be 5 x 1Mile repeats

I was up all night with my daughter so I slept in and ran an easy 4 this morning and 3 this afternoon....and STILL felt terrible.
Going to attempt the mile repeats tomorrow:)

It's almost Midnight....my bed is calling....

searching for peace amongst chaos and drama...

For the past year or two, I have found myself yearning for my life to go back to the basics. Being able to have the time and freedom to focus on whats most important to me. My family.

I am a stay at home mom...but one who also runs a business....so it becomes a tad crazy. Trying to answer hundreds of emails every week while taking care of a home, 2 kids and also trying to train makes me feel like I am going to lose my mind some days.

I can't adequately describe the chaotic-ness of my life sometimes. I'm sure many of you "get it". Being a mom is crazy enough...and so i have yearned to have to do nothing but take care of my kids and be a wife to my husband. Unfortunately, the reality is that we are trying to pay of this chiropractic clinic we bought last year and I need to keep earning money.
Not only that, but I really do LOVE what I do. Makeup...is....just painting on a 3D canvas for me. It is my art and my joy....but sometimes that joy gets lost when I am juggling the business aspect of it all and a few other artists who are working for me now too.
It is A LOT. it is OVERWHELMING on many days. sometimes, like tonight, i Just want to sit down and cry. It has been a LONG 6yrs....

There seems to always be fires to put out and drama to settle. It is wearing me out.
I seem to have been surrounded by alot of drama lately.....whenever this happens, I become very introverted. I want to hide in my room til it all goes away.
I find myself yearning for PEACE. I retreat to my room, trying to get a way from the chaos, the noise. The internal jibber jabber in my head. I pull out my scriptures, I read from the bible and the Book of Mormon, searching for words of comfort from the Savior. I snuggle up to my husband and hope he will say something that will make me feel like I will get through this week. I write in my journal that I haven't written in for so long, hopeing and praying for answers and clarity. I blog. Not sure why I am blogging about this. I do not normally share these types of things on here...I like to keep it to running..I don't like being vulnerable, but tonight I need to vent.

I am doing my very best. I am trying to be a good friend,a good wife, a good mother and a successful business owner. Days like today just make me want to throw in the towel....I got some weird emails from a certain person about the way I am running my business and it really hurt. this person has NO idea how hard I have worked for 6yrs to build this up BY MYSELF and I wanted to scream. Even my husband was infuriated. There is no reason to retaliate though b/c it would only make things worse.
I sometimes wonder, what the heck am I doing? I don't know anything about business....I am an artist. some how I have managed to get this far and I'm not really sure how. I feel insecure and scared sometimes....like I'm not doing all the right things I should be. Steve tells me how I need to be blogging more wedding photos to gain ranks on google.com etc...but all I hear is "more work, more work, more work" and all my heart is screaming out for is: "slow down, slow down, slow down".
some day my kids will be grown. I find myself feelings sad lately at the thought of them growing up. I have worked so hard the last 2 yrs so I COULD have more free time..this is why I hired and trained 2 other girls to do makeup and why I recently hired a friend to be my assistant and help with emails/contracts...but every time I turn around it seems like something or someone is requireing me to do more and I just can't.

My heart is filled with sadness tonight.I jsut want to go hold my babies. I don't want to lose my business but at the same time, somedays I just wish it would all fade into the background and I could just spend day after day with my girls and not have to worry about any of that stuff anymore. It seems our time is so often interrupted by emails/phone calls and scheduling for brides.

So, I will continue to search for peace. To pray. Toask the Lord to guide me in my life and show me the way to go.He has always done so and I know He will.
I realize on nights like this how much I need Him. How much I love my family and how important they are to me. How i don't want to go through life with regrets. I will continue to work on slowing down and taking in the small moments, knowing that things will work out. they always do.
I will count my blessings before i go to sleep tonight and hopefully things look better in the morning.

heartbreaker 10K race recap

Going into this race, I was not sure how I felt. My previous PR is from last year right before I started marathon training...actually almost a year ago exactly. first week of february. I ran a 42:30 which was a 5min PR off my 10K time at that time. I still  can't believe that 18mos ago I could NOT break 47:30...mind you If I knew that running 20-25 miles a week sporatically and inconsistently was NOT going to lead me to improvement then i wouldn't have been so hard on myself. I was More than thrilled with my 42:30 last year b/c I went into that race just hoping to break 45. I obviously was not very clear on my what my abilities were at the time. I am still figuring that out I guess..........I am realizing that we usually grossly underestimate our abilities.

I haven't had a PR in almost a year, due to the fact that I was injured and then have just been running base so I was really eager to get one today.
however, It was hard for me to put it out there. There is always this fear with telling people what you really want and just believing inyourself and then not achieving it and feeling like a failure. I am not the only one who does this right? I think we often try to hide the true desires of our hearts b/c of fear of judgement if we come up short.

I was torn today between telling myself that I believe in myself...that I am stronger than I think I am and that I CAN run a 6:45 pace for 6.2 miles (that is what I needed to break 42min..which was my ultimate goal). .....and then there was the voice trying to give myself an out....telling me, it's okay to not meet my goals b/c I am not training for a 10K....I am not tapered.....I ran a 20 miler, and a hard mile repeats workout this week, its a high mileage week for me (70miles)...I stood on myfeet ALL day yesterday working etc.....

And then I thought of a bunch of you ladies, who inspire me. Who do NOT make excuses and ultimately when I stood at that starting line today, I told myself "Nicole, You are stronger than you think. You don't make excuses, you just go after it and get it". it helped that Angie was beside me in her sweet encouraging voice telling me all the while I complained about being tired and not having my head in the game that I was going to do GREAT!. She is so sweet.

I got to the start line and gave my head a shake! I actually said out loud "nicole, you are stronger than you think. Come on!". I knew I had to get my game face on b/c chances were this was not going to feel easy if I wanted to break 42min. And I REALLY wanted to break 42min. Like bad.
When that gun went off, the race day magic turned on and I knew it was all or nothing...and I'm an "all" kind of girl:)

We went out first mile together and our garmins were hopping all over the place so I had to run by feel.I was pretty confident I was running on target of about 6:50 pace and when the garmin finally settled down it was between 6:45 and 6:50. My goal pace for the first mile was 6:50 so I could try to run it progressively. when my watch beeped at the first mile and it said 6:37, I said "shoot!". I knew that was faster than I wanted but I let it roll of my back.
I am always amazed by "race day magic" ....it is a real thing! lol....some weird force coming from the running universe b/c paces ALWAYS feel so much easier in a race than they do when running alone. Luckily today, a bit of Race Day Magic was on my side.

A few girls went out fast (they were the 37,38 pace women), but 2 other girls were within 200m of me. My goal was to chase them both down.
By the end of mile 2, I was closing in on the first one.
Mile 2 beeped at 6:42. I knew there was no time to slow down and I had to pick it up. I was already starting to feel tired but not enough to slow down.

The girl in front of me was not slowing down and it seemed like I was not speeding up....right around mile 3, there is a sharp U-turn...this was my chance..I surged and passed her.
Mile 3: 6:32

Now I could see i was about 60m behind the other girl I was trying to catch. and at about mile 3.5 I passed her. I can't tell you how goood that felt.
I hit mile 4 with another 6:32 pace....this was when the Race day magic started to fade and I could FEEL that I had just run 4 miles at a 6:35 pace.

I looked behind me a few times to see and the girls were not making any progress...I still had about 30-50m on both of them. THEN......

to my absolute dismay, I hear a flapping sound and look down to see my shoe lace untied! I could NOT believe it!! this has NEVER happened to me before in a race. My launches were double knotted but somehow had still come undone. I actually yelled out loud ( I won't say what I said, but I was mad!). I dropped to my knees and whipped off my gloves...my fingers were so numb it was hard to move them properly and quickly.I was actually talking to them saying "come on fingers, work!". I jumped back up and now these girls were 30m in front of me......one a bit furthere ahead.
I picked up the pace, which honestly hurt SO bad, but I was DETERMINED to catch them again!
Mile 5 was 6:59:(:( I am sure I lost atleast 15seconds.....maybe more if you think about stopping and re-excelerating etc.....
I caught one and we yo-yo'd the final mile and a half! by mile 5.5 My legs were dead. I could feel that everything in my body was telling me to stop.
with half a mile to go the girl pulled away and had about 20m on me....HOWEVER, with the last .1 to go, up a small hill, I gave it everything I had and we crossed the finish line at the exact same time:):)
we both congratulated eachother and talked about how we HELPED eachother push one another. nice girl for sure.
Mile 6 was 6:48
and the last .24 was 6:23 pace (I was pushing as hard as i could for the last quarter mile and that was all I had:)

Finishing time was: 41:40
I was really proud of myself.

I felt really good about my paces and consistency the first 4 miles. a 6:35 pace will get me to break 41min so I just have to pace myself differently next time and not stop to tie my shoe;) and I think I can get close to that.
I took 2nd in my Age Group...but I feel really bad, bc when I looked at the posted results, I thought I was first and they gave me my medal b/c I had to leave early. I think they are all the same but still. turned out I thought one of the names was  a boy name but it was a girl and she was first in  our age group.oops!

I am really excited to race another 10K in 2weeks and then a 5K 2wks after that!

Week 7 of boston training was a good week: recap:

**20miler at 8:02 pace. Easy pace. felt amazing!

**Workout: 4 x 1 mile repeats: 6:41, 6:29, 6:19, and 6:04. A NEW MILE PR for me:) (previous Mile PR also done in repeats was 6:09).
I finally believe I can run a sub 6min mile. I have never raced a mile or done a timed mile on it s own to see how fast I could do it, but I will soon. I am excited:)

** and a New 10K PR:)

Life is good:)

Boston Training Week 7.....20 miler and first speed session!

Well week 7 is looking MUCH better than week 6. Thank goodness!

It's hard to believe that this time last week I was just coming off my oxycodone High.....Oh, the difference one week can make, eh?
I missed both major workouts last week which was crummy but nothing you can do. I am over it.

Me and marathon training seem to be a fiasco...so far we are 2 for 2:) 
In the first 7 wks of training I have:
-been sick once, or was it twice? ( had to take time off for a bad chest cough)
-had my Mother in law die and found myself out of town and out of sorts for 2wks
-and ended up in the hospital with Kidney stones, AGAIN having to take time off. 

It was hard to hear my coach tonight make reference to these things and say "imagine where you'd be if you hadn't had all these set backs and missed a bunch of workouts".......he wasn't saying this in a negative way at all...
he was happy about how well my workout today went and so he was just meaning it in a way that he was glad I am doing this well, DESPITE all the setbacks. But we are not looking back, just looking forward. I still feel really positive about everything. Like my previous post on perspective, I am going into Boston just EXCITED to be there, HEALTHY and INJURY-FREE, (hopefully):D John, did it make it clear tonight that I have to be careful to not get too crazy...we don't want any injuries again......

I  don't know if there  will ever be such a thing as marathon training without something crazy happening to me, so I'm just gonna go with it! HA!

SO...Anyway...here I am, in week 7:):)

Monday called for a 20 mile run. Easy pace, which John outlined as 8:00-8:30 pace. 
I started out, and normally my body's natural rhythm is always progressive, so I usually start in the 8:30's to 8:40's and work my way down and settle into 8:15ish pace for the majority of the run. However, I was feeling quite good and low 8's felt very comfortable this day and just easy. I felt when I tried to slow down,which I did throughout, it threw off my stride and i ended up back in this pace, so I went with it, even though my first mile seemed too fast and I worried I might burn out, my body actually stayed fairly consistent throughout. It was a great run. I felt strong the whole time so I picked it up Just a bit at the end...and finished the last half mile at 6:30 pace. ...
Plus it was nice to be alone and just think. Nothing like a few hours alone on the pavement.

My miles looked like this:

Mile 1: 8:01
Mile 2: 8:08
Mile 3: 7:59
Mile 4: 8:08
Mile 5: 8:11
Mile 6: 7:53
Mile 7: 7:59
Mile 8: 8:04
Mile 9: 8:04
Mile 10: 8:12
Mile 11: 8:18
Mile 12: 7:58
Mile 13: 8:05
Mile 14: 8:02
Mile 15: 8:08
Mile 16: 8:16
Mile 17: 7:59
Mile 18: 8:01
Mile 19: 7:50
Mile 20: 7:16

I recovered yesterday with a slow 8  miles (8:50pace)......quads felt a bit tired at mile 7, which wasn't surprising as I battled this all last week after being in the hospital and skipped my 5K race on Sunday b/c they were still so sore. 

Today called for 4 x 1 Mile repeats. I woke up this morning with the same starter pains I had last week before the kidney stone incident so I was worried. I really don't like mile repeats (well, after today, I think I do:) but going IN to this workout, I was not so excited about it). 
Initially John told me to do them all at 6:30pace. Then he told me to start at 6:50 for the first 2 and then cut down and crank it the last one:) 
well...I did something SORT of like that. 

I headed outside and did a 2 mile warm up, and then ran my first mile....pretty conservatively...
Mile 1 was 6:41
This actually didn't feel very good, so I was skeptical this was gonna be a good workout. 
half mile jog recovery and straight into mile 2. 
Mile 2 was 6:29 (had no lung searing pain like I thought I would have so I started to feel a bit more optimistic). 
Mile 3: 6:19 (STILL no lung pain or feeling like I was dying so I felt even MORE optimistic-don't get me wrong...it was definitely threshold pace...but no lung burning like I normally get at these paces)
Mile 4: 6:04!! *This is a new Mile PR for me. I've never raced a mile, even just for myself, but last year the fastest mile repeat I ever ran was 6:09. 

Now here's what got me really mad at myself though... I ran the first half of this mile at about 6:10 pace and the last half at 5:58 pace....I didn't do the math, but I should have, b/c when I looked at my watch at .95 of a mile, I realized how close I was to breaking 6minutes! I tried to sprint, but it was too late.....had I started sprinting at about .85 or even .9, I could have done it! dang it! oh well, next time:)

This workout felt so good to me for so many reasons, here are a few: 

1. I focused on keeping good form the whole time. I find when I find something else to focus on other than just the speed, I run faster. Like when I did those 10 x 2 min hill sprints,I focused on building strength, not speed and it was my fastest hill workout I had done. (john attributes my speed today to those hill workouts by the way:) finally...some pay off for doing the damn things!

2. Since this is my first week of integrating  track workouts, I feel really optimistic about the next 6wks

3. I came out of this workout with a sure knowledge that I can run a sub 6min mile. I don't think I was sure about that before today. Now I just need to find the opportunity

4. This workout was just what I needed to gain some confidence for the 10K I am racing this weekend. 

Friday was supposed to be 800's but b/c I am racing a 10K on Sunday,that will be my other workout for this week, so now I get to take it EASY the rest of the week til then and I'm EXCITED about it!!!

Do you like Mile repeats? 
 Have you done any lately? 

I have them again next week, but 5 instead of 4:)

MY Valentine...9yrs ago.....

9yrs ago tomorrow, I married the love of my life. I can't believe it. Time has gone by so quickly....I think We have a very special love story...well I guess everyone's does right?

I thought about taking the time tonight to write it all out.

How we met at a dance while he was dressed up as Julio Iglesias singing "To all the girls I've loved before", how we fell in love very quickly over a 6week period of dating. How I felt in my heart so strongly I should marry him but also felt strongly I wanted to serve a mission for my church.
Breaking up, we went our separate ways and had a 2yr absence from each others life. No speaking, no writing. I thought he'd moved on.

It was a matter of 4wks after returning home that we stared dating again ........we quickly realized that AGAIN we were falling in love with each other.

I had MANY spiritual experiences where the Lord told me Steve would be my Eternal Companion (and this was in the first 4 weeks before he even asked me out on a date!).

Those experiences have carried us through 9yrs of marriage. When things have gotten tough, I have ALWAYS reflected on those experiences and cannot deny that the Lord brought us together. TWICE.

We were married 5.5 mos from the time I got home from my mission on Feb. 14, 2003.
We never did anything but Kiss before we got married:) he was ALWAYS so respectful, so strong....so that we could be married in the Temple of our God. It was hard (who am I kidding? lol), but we did it, and I'm so glad we did:)

I love this Man. He is my everything. He has changed my life and though we are polar opposites, we love each other.

I admire SO many things about him. His work ethic, his fathering and parenting skills, his love for "his girls", his humor, his MIND...he is BRILLIANT. I just adore him and feel so grateful to have had him by my side the last 9yrs. We started out with next to Nothing and have built a beautiful life together. It has been fun to celebrate in all our accomplishments together along the way. We have a long way to go, but we work together so well:)

There are so many beautiful and intricate details in our love story that it would take me an hour or 2 to write it out..but I'd rather go snuggle with him on the sofa...Sorry Guys!! Maybe another time I'll TRY to put on paper what is so special and sacred in my heart.

Here are some photos we snapped yesterday...
I love you Stevie.

Happy Valentines everyone:)

He is purposely making this stupid face thinking I'm not looking lol. he's such a dork!

Yes I am going to grab his crotch to make him laugh! LOl...it worked! ha ha ha

Standing as high as I can on my tip-toes! remember I am only 5'4, he is 5'11.5

My love.

OUR loves.

Handful Giveaway!

This is not MY handful giveaway but I AM doing one...and that should be in the next few weeks, so stay tuned for that!!!

The Handful Bra is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE running accessory. I got so tired of looking like a 12 year old boy when I put my sports bra on....that when Amanda told me about this bra, I was ALL over it!
It has changed my life. I know that seems crazy, but it's true. When I do my giveaway I will post photos of me in a regular sports bra and then in the Handful Bra and you will see why:) I don't just wear it for running anymore, but have designated ones just for every day:)

(no,this is not me, I WISH!, picture from Handful's website)

Anyway, I wanted to pass on the details of this giveaway to Win 3, yes THREE!, Handful Bras from Handful themselves right now!!

CONTEST:  There will be 2 separate drawings for 3 FREE handfuls.  1 for activity b/t 1/30 (video release) and 2/14 and one for activity b/t 2/15 and 2/29! 
Here's how you get "Entries":

  • 1 entry per Tweet:  Mention @handfulbra in a tweet with link to video
  • 1 entry per Facebook post with tag to @handful to display on our page!
  • 1 entry per Blog post (send me an email with link or post link on our facebook page!)
  • 5 entries per getting one of your followers to get into the "contest" by the above social media activities!
    • This might be hard to track for me so if you know one of your friends is doing it, please send me an email with their name so I can add them and give you credit  or have them do that!

POST a comment here letting me know you have: Tweeted, Facebooked or Blogged about Handful!!

thanks and good luck!!!
You know what they say, all you need is a Handful;)

Being flexible with our goals and with ourselves....Keeping a healthy perspective

What a stark contrast my mindset is today from one year ago. 

A year ago, I had tunnel vision. I was borderline obsessed with running and had a hard time seeing anything outside my goals. NO flexibility. I wanted what I wanted and I wasn't willing to slow down or stop til I got it.  I didn't listen to my body, I listened to a training plan. I did what my coach told me no matter how tired, emotional or over worked I was. I showed up at my marathon after barely recovering from the flu, and with a stress fracture. When everything fell apart, I was a Hot Mess! instead of rejoicing in 3:35 for a first marathon despite all those set backs, I sat down and cried feeling like an utter failure.

Today, I sit here facing more adversity but feeling completely in control of my emotions and my outlook.
I have uncontrollably sore quads, and not sure why. Perhaps from the drugs this past week?
it doesn't really make sense. I sat on my butt ...rather laid in bed for  2 days and when i tried to run again, it feels like I ran 3 marathons.
I said to Stephanie this morning, " It seems like every time I get on a roll, something stops me dead in my tracks. WHY?!". It is frustrating yes...but it is NOT the end of the world.

I have become  a lot more flexible with My goals and with myself. 
I can only do what I can do.

So, I may not be able to race that 5K on Sunday. Disappointing? yes. but not the end of the world. 

I may have missed both my big workouts this week: 
my 15 progression and 10x 2 min hills....
frustrating? yes. but not the end of the world. 

I am glad that I can face these challenges without having an anxiety attack. I am  a fighter. I never quit. I don't give up. I got out and ran 10.5 miles yesterday. every step hurt my quads. EVERY step. But it wasn't an "i'm gonna get injured if I keep running" hurt...it was  just a "my legs are so tired and dead" hurt. SO I  kept going. I pushed through. I told myself that I might feel like this during the marathon so use this as training on how to push through the fatigue.

I will continue to do EVERYTHING that I can do, 
whatever that may be and whatever I have to give come 
April 16th 
will just have to be enough. I am not going to lose sleep over it. 
It might be a 3:25 or it might be a 3:15 (God willing), but whatever it is, 
it will be ENOUGH. 

I am not going to let it distract me from my duties as a mother and wife.
I have YEARS to run still....and apparently my body likes to take mandatory breaks every 3 weeks during marathon training;) ....no really, I'm serious. lol we'll see what happens 3-4 wks from now:)

Running has been so good for my health...both physically and mentally. It has taught me a lot about myself, my strengths AND my weaknesses....and it feels good to know that I can surrender to the"stuff" that life throws my way and try to take it all in stride. 

I feel like my motto lately is "It's Not the End of the World". I mean really...there are bigger things in the world to worry about that me getting kidney stones and missing another 3 days of training....

(as my husband likes to say) 

I continue to embrace the Love and gratitude I feel to 

So, get out there, enjoy the feeling of the pavement under your feet...no matter how fast, slow or sore you are today:) It is a blessing to have legs to run!

Here's my 3 yr old mooshy smiling at all the people 
clapping for her as she crossed the finish line of her first race. 
See the JOY on her face? she didn't care how fast she ran 
it, she just felt GREAT about herself for DOING IT!
If we could all be like little children:)

Kidney stones, drugs and a beautiful self-portrait....

I am still a bit high on oxycodone as I write this...sorry....I feel like total crap.

So here's the story as best I can remember it....

Friday night. come down with bladder infection.
saturday 1pm. start antibiotics.
sunday. feel fine.
Sunday going into monday morning at 12:30am I wake up in all kinds of weird discomfort.
after 2hrs of it getting worse, I decide I have a kidney infection and steve tells me to drive myself to emergency.
we have no medical insurance so I start crying b/c i'm in pain and know I need to go, but we don't have money for the size of bill I'm going to get.

I drive myself to the hospital, all the way, PRAYING there isn't a long wait. When I arrive, there is not ONE person in emergency!! how often does THAT happen? never. Thank you God for hearing my prayers.
they got me in quick, which was good b/c I went from bad to worse in about 45min. By the time they had me pee in a cup, and put an IV in my arm, I was doubled over crying in pain and BEGGING for pain medication. I can honestly say this felt worse than birthing my 10lb daughter sans drugs.
she gave me some morphine and within about 5min it kicked in. SO thankful for modern day medicine.

They explained that there was A LOT of blood in my urine and the way I was describing the pain, they think I have kidney stones and need to send me for a CT Scan (all I can think is more $$$$$).

Of course, being high on morphine, I tell the guy, I write a blog and need a photo of the machine. he tells me this was a first:)

After the CT scan, I asked for more morphine b/c the pain was already coming back....she gave me more and I was litterally OUT. OF. IT for 12hrs after that. YIKES.

At one point, I remember trying to text steve and typing the same word over and over again b/c I couldn't get it right, til I passed my phone to the nurse and I heard her burst out laughing...I think she was standing their watching me TRY to text.
It's a good thing I don't do drugs, or drink or anything of that source. I don't remember what I was saying but there were 2 nurses and they were laughing at me a lot......

It must have been around the same time I had the great idea to take a self-portrait to see what I look like on morphine....incase you were wondering also...I'll share:

Purdy, huh? love my Medusa hair and my handful bra:)

They sent me home with some oxycodone and a strainer. Yes, I get to strain all my pee's. They want to test it to find out what caused it. they said I have lots of them in my kidneys:(:(

Well, it's been 24hrs and no stone, so I'm wondering if my body broke it down? I have no idea.
do I risk going off pain meds and then it decides to come out? or do I just assume it past. They told me it was 3mm in size and would hurt when it came out...not sure what happened to it.

I just want to get down from this high so I can run again. I am ticked I missed my 15miler yesterday and am missing more miles today.
I am totally jinxed when I decide to train for marathons......what is up with that?

so...that's my story.....told while I'm high:)

Just can't catch a break. Sitting in the ER....

I am high as a kite right now on morphine.

Woke up at midnight in pain which got worse really fast.
They think I have a kidney stone. Just did a cat scan and said I might need surgery.

Praying for a miracle.

Feeling STRONG but NOT Fast:(

Let me start by saying I LOVE my training... I am not looking for anything different. I trust John. I trust his expertise and I trust his training.

HOWEVER, I am having some issues within myself.

I feel STRONG. I feel like my ability to run LONG is the best it's ever been. I have been runnning consistent mileage for 5 mos now. Something I've NEVER done. I am running higher mileage than I ever have.
BUT I am feeling the strain of almost a year without speed work.
I feel SLOW. Really slow.
Not slow as in I can't run 8:00 pace for 18 miles...I did that last week and that was great.
But I don't even think I could run the 20:10 5K I ran in November right now. I am not sure WHY I feel this way. If it is correct or if it's just a mental block. I guess we'll see when I run this 5K this weekend.

I am starting to wonder if running 6wks of speedwork WILL be enough when I've been off speed since last April???
I am starting to doubt if I really will be able to run 26.2 miles at sub 7:45 pace even?

I want to feel FAST again.
I am feeling really insecure about the mile repeats I have coming up.

Why do I feel SLOWER than I did 2 mos ago???
someone help me unscramble this brain of mine and make sense of whats going on....

is it b/c I've been running so many EASY miles ? and not very many fast miles????:(:(

Fartlek Friday...and the next 5wks!

Today was Fartlek Friday again:)

workout was 6 x 4min ....did them on the TM b/c I had the girls and did them at 6:44 pace...except the last one which was 6:31 pace. Felt good but 4min while stairing at the wall feels like FOREVER!!!

So, I picked up my schedule for the next 5weeks from John today and I'm so excited!!
I get to start doing some speed work!!

A few things to look forward to this month: 

2 x 20 milers
2 x 15mile progression runs
My first 75 mile week:)**
A LOT of Mile repeats (not my favorite but I'll get over it:))
a 16 x 400M workout! LOVE 400's !! but haven't done these in SO long!! almost a year!
A few 800m workouts
oh...and ONE MORE 10 x 2min HILL workout:)

I am feeling strong.....everything has been relatively comfortable til now and this all looks fairly do-able but definitely gonna be some work involved too:)

I have a 5K on Feb 12th and a 10K on March 3rd. We'll see if My fitness has improved the last few months..not expecting TOO much of a PR on the 5K but John wants me to aim for 19:50 so we'll see....

I got my NEW SHOES today and ran my 3 miler (double day) tonight in the PURE FLOWS!! they are awesome! they really do prevent you from Heal striking! I've been working on this for over 6mo's so I think this is the perfect time to transition into them:):)

well...off to bed, get to celebrate my 9 year anniversary tomorrow and finish off my week with 10 miles tomorrow morning:)


5 things I can't train without!!

Okay....I have been thinking lately about what has become my most important Training Must haves the last year or two... the things I use on a REGULAR Basis that I just don't think i could live without:) Sure My garmin...my favorite running clothes etc.....but these are 5 things I have come to depend upon every day!

Nicole's "Daily Must Have's":

1. Oatmeal

I cook this up EVERY morning. I eat it with raisins ( you must soak them in the boiling water first), cinnamon, raw honey and almond milk. yummmm!!

2. My Saucony Ride 4's

I have tried so many other shoes and I love Brooks launches for racing but for my every day training shoe, this is the ONLY shoe that won't mess up my feet.

Sometimes, I wish for a more exciting shoe...but I have to give this one credit for seeing me through again and again.

3. My Usana vitamins
I take A LOT! I've been on this stuff for 14yrs and love it. This isn't even all of it:)

they are the number one nutritional supplement in North America, Pharmaceutical grade, and have a professional athlete $1million guarantee that they are 100% pure and safe for athletes. LOVE them!
The oil of oregano isn't Usana..it's something new I'm trying.


4. Protein Recovery Shake

I am really good about taking my shake. Whenever I do a long run, a speed, tempo or hill workout, I take this within 5-10 minutes of finishing. I just put 1 scoop in a shaker cup with water and drink! then I always follow up with some carb meal:)


This is the USANA Whey Protein Nutrimeal shake. LOVE it! it's more pricey than the muscle milk but WAY better quality:)

5. Nike Training Center App for my iPhone

John just told me about this and it's already in my MUST HAVES list! this is like P90x but FREE!! DOWNLOAD IT NOW!!! I did the Core Crunch workout tonight! only 15min utes and AWESOME!! You do a variety of core routines for 1minute each.

I totally need something like this that I can just do in my room before bed or wherever, whenever I want!

I have more but we'll just start with those.

Oh...and this girl...does she count? :)

I run with Steph (Soggy runner girl) every week and I'm not sure how I would cope if I didn't have her as my part-time training partner anymore...Love you Steph!!

(p.s yes...I DO look tall in photos. hmm.. just to clear this up...I am ONLY 5'4:) I am short. yes. I have LONG legs for my height so I LOOK tall, but I'm not. And yes, Steph is only 5'3:):)

What are YOUR Running/Training MUST-HAVES???
Share with us!!

11 Randoms.... just for fun....

I don't normally do these but what the heck, thanks Tasha!
There are rules to this fun game that are as follows: 1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this. You legitimately have to tag 11 people.
**This is for fun and you do not have to do this if I tagged you** :-)

11 Random things about me:
1) I had my ears pinned when I was 11yrs old. before that I got called "dumbo" all the time and I never would wear my hair up. don't regret it one bit.

2) I am a Mormon:) Yes I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Only one in my family too. Joined the church when I was 18. My husband is also the only member in his family. Joined when he was 20.

3) I served a full-time mission for my church for 18mos. I did nothing but preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ 12hrs a day, 365 days a year for 18 mos. best thing I ever did!

4) I am the youngest of 3 girls...I'm the wild, crazy, loud, hyper one:)

5) I am an artist. Not just a makeup artist. I draw faces too.

6) I am addicted to my work email account. It has taken my 5yrs but I've weaned myself down to checking it only 5 times a day:)

7) I am addicted to buying new duvet covers from Ikea every 2 mos:) It drives my husband crazy, but nothing can cheer me up the way new bedding can!

8) I have always wanted to be bi-lingual. I might start taking spanish as my husband is fluent.

9) Last week my friend brought me some of those yummy kraft caramels. they were SO good, I found myself eating them in the shower. Because obviously the length of my shower was too long to go without having one.

10) I am a hopeless romantic. I live in fairy tale land in my head sometimes.

11) I am not afraid of public speaking...in fact I LOVE it! weird, I know. Q

uestions from Tasha:
1. What is your favorite recovery drink?
Usana chocolate Whey Nutrimeal, Ucann or Muscle milk. all chocolate.

2. Love the treadmill or hate it?
both. most days hate it....but in the right conditions, I can be thankful for it:)

3. Name your favorite cross training exercise/routine.
Cross training? whats that? ...IF I was better at making time, I would say swimming but I don't.

4. Favorite book read within the last year?

5. What type of dessert do you like to indulge yourself in?
Oh..I am the QUEEN of Reeses Peanut Butter cup McFlurries on Friday nights:)

6. What motivates you to get through a tough workout?
Being done. lol. No really...just knowing how I will feel if I complete it:)

7. Favorite race ran?
I think my recent half in October....no expectations of myself

8. If you had to eat fast food, which would you prefer?
not any one place but the items itself: Burgerville-Ground Turkey burger, Macdonalds-Fillet O fish, Burger King-Whopper:)

9. Favorite childhood memory?
I think just bedtime with my sister. we shared a room til we were 12 and 14yrs old. I loved talking to her every night at bedtime...or playing "ship" on our bunk beds when we were little girls. bedtime was never really bedtime..it was just play time with the lights out and door closed:):)

10. Runner’s World or Running Times or both?
both. The more the better:)

11 people I am tagging are:

My Questions for you:

1. How tall are you? I think pictures are deceiving. people always think I'm really tall and I'm only 5'4.
2. Did you play sports in high school? what was your favorite?
3. How many states have you lived in in your life?
4. Do you have siblings? how many and where do you fall?
5. when you were 15, what did you want to be when you "grew up"? did you do it?
6. Do you have a pet peeve? something that just REALLY gets under your skin? My husband hates the sound of chewing and I just don't get it.
7. whats your middle name?
8. If you had 1 Million dollars to donate to ANY cause...what would it be?
9. What is the one talent you WISH you had, but don't feel like you do? (mine is singing)
10. do you have a most embarrassing moment? that you are willing to share? ;););)
11.You can do any act of random kindness (anonymously), money isn't an issue, what do you do?