About me

Your Destiny....some ramblings in my head....

Have you ever wondered what your "Destiny" is? 
and what IS Destiny anyway? 
Is it something you CREATE, or is it something that will happen IN SPITE of yourself? 
I sort of think it is a little bit of both. 

I think that we come to this earth destined to do certain things in our lives and as long as we don't completely flush our lives down the toilet, they will find a way of coming around. 

Is it weird that I feel like I was destined to be a runner? Let me explain.

6yrs old-wanted to join a private track club. (who does that at age 6?!)
8yrs old-ran my first 400m race, WON. had never felt such a wonderful feeling in my life. 
Teenage years....copped out, was insecure. 

my mom is an alcoholic (and had a cocaine addiction from when I was 14-25yrs old) . Single mom of 3 girls. dirt poor.  I took all this and allowed it to define me. As in, I'm not worthy of good things. I don't like myself. I am ugly, I am poor etc etc. At age 15, I was suicidal. I found bad friends, got drunk every weekend,  smoked, tried a  bunch of diff drugs. Things could have gone very differently for me, but SOMEONE must have been looking out for me.

It wasn't until I was 18yrs old and found God that I pulled out of that mentality. There is a lot more to this story and maybe someday I'll sit down and write it all out. For this posts purposes we'll leave it at that. 

Throughout my late teens and all through my 20's when People talked about running, I would always feel the urge to jump in and say "Oh, I'm a runner!!"...but luckily before I opened my mouth, I would remember that I hadn't run since I was 13/14yrs old :/
For the life of me, I couldn't make sense out of why I FELT like a runner when I hadn't run in over 10yrs??!

NOW, in hindsight, I believe it was b/c I was destined to follow that path. I believe that God gave me Legs to run. It is one of my talents and I hope to use it to fulfill my dreams and to eventually inspire others to chase theirs. I want to help others see that they can do anything they set their minds to. I love to lift others and help them overcome their fears, reach their goals.
 Maybe Running is a tool to do that? I'm not sure.

It took me a long time to finally take the necessary steps to start running, but I am here now:)
2.5yrs ago, I started running. 6-8 miles  a WEEK. IT wasn't much but it was a start. 2yrs ago, I ran my first half marathon with only 6wks training of about 20 miles a week and one 10 mile run:) for the next year after that I just ran off and on about 18miles a week and sometimes not for months at a time. I consider my REAL running start 1yr ago. In September of 2010, I got on my computer and emailed  a coach. I swallowed my pride and fear of embarassment and told him that I thought I had some potential but had no idea how to tap into it. I told him that I have felt like a runner my whole life and I wanted to make into a reality and needed his help. 
Well that was 1 yr ago. 
I had run 3 half marathons at that point and couldn't get under 1:46. I was SO frustrated. 
In 8 mos I: 
ran a 19:45 5K
a 42:30 10K 
a 1:32:18 half marathon
and a 3:35 first marathon on a stress fractured leg.....
that lead to 2.5 mos off and now I have been back running for 8wks.

If I can do that in 8 months, then I truly believe that My potential is limitless. I am done with words like "well see, maybe, some day". No. I WILL run that 3:15 marathon next year. I WILL run that sub 19min 5 K. I WILL run a sub 40min 10K and I WILL run that sub 1:30 half marathon...Because I believe that My destiny is to achieve the dreams I have always had of being a competitive runner.

This 10K I ran on Saturday was very EYE OPENING to me. I really didn't think I was gonna run faster than 44-45min at best. I wasn't being Modest....I REALLY didn't think it was possible to get within 24 seconds of my PR off of 8wks of base building. In my sleep I may have DREAMED that, but I was not expecting it AT ALL. 
It has brought me back to thinking about my DESTINY. I hadn't thought about it for a while, but after Saturday, I started to feel again like maybe I am stronger than I think and maybe I really CAN achieve even the biggest dreams. I am not limiting myself anymore. I will accomplish the first set of goals I listed above and then i will keep going. I'm SO excited for the future. 
*I hope that I dont' sound like a complete dork by writing all this...it sort of makes me feel vulnerable, But i hope it will inspire some of you to be open and honest about your dreams and feelings about what you are meant to do and what you are capable of doing. We so often limit ourselves...and WHY?! We are of Divine Destiny and we can do ANYTHING. I feel so strongly about this. Nothing makes me happier than seeing someone pushing fear and doubt aside and chasing a dream.

I always felt a lot of gratitude this weekend for my injury b/c it has changed my perspective on running. I feel JOY again to run. Just run. to have my HEALTH. I will NEVER take running for granted again. It is a gift. It brings joy, serenity, confidence and strength into my life. 

ONE more thing....
I found this today and LOVED it. It speaks to my heart. This is so true for me. When I run, I am almost ALWAYS thinking about the Possibilities. That is what gets me out of bed every morning....
Oh..P.S Before I forget. I got accepted into BOSTON today:):)

What do you think Destiny is? 
What is yours? 
Are you doing everything you can to follow it?

EDITED: Best Dam Run 10K Race Recap!

Didn't get much sleep last night...laid there til after midnight thinking and thinking and trying NOT to think...
finally fell asleep..woke up at 2 and 4 and then up at 6:30....

got dressed, put on some eyeliner and mascara so I wouldnt' scare anyone away.....hmmm...actually that might be a good race tactic though, right? scare off the fast girls so i can get ahead?;). 

Met Amanda and Raina at Starbucks and hopped in their car!

Raina, is even MORE gorgeous in Person than her photos! first thing I notice...is her beautiful smile and then her KILLER Legs! oh man...what I would do for Raina OR Amandas muscular legs. 

The 3 of us blabbed and blabbed......Amanda Cackled ( it is contagious!...when she laughs it's like happy music coming out of her soul and the sun starts shining all around you! lol) and we had a great time talking about Marathon plans etc while we Drove out to beautiful Estacada!

We arrived and picked up our bibs....then we stood around, ate some gels for breakfast, got on a bus....got off a bus, sat in the car, got out of the car, got BACK on the bus lol..and then headed to the start line:)

once at the start line we headed down to the Port-a-potties and then did a nice 1.5 mile warm up:) After that, we did some strides.....

I got back to the start line and couldn't find Amanda OR Raina...When the announcer said 2min til start and Raina came jogging up, I was relieved...but STILL NO AMANDA??? I was sorta freaking out...

THEN as the announcer is counting down 10, 9, 8, 7 , 6...WHO comes SPRINTING up the hill to the start but AMANDA?!! lol...what the crap girl? 
Apparently she was going pee! ha ha ha...anyway...poor girl was bookin' it to get there...not the best way to start her race!!! what a trooper...she turned right around on GO!! and took off again:) 

Okay...on to MY RACE:
First mile felt great...there is some gradual downhill and my first mile was like 6:55.......
when I saw this....I knew I had 2 choices:
1. slow down and try to Pull back
2. trust that maybe I could do better than I thought. take a risk. if I can only hold this pace for 3 miles then I could still run the last 3 at 7:15's and hit a 7:00 average...

so I went with Option 2. 
I held onto that pace and just kept going....
I was waiting to hit the wall and at about mile 5 when I had to climb that 1/4 mile long hill, I WANTED to walk...but then I remembered JENN saying "you will do great...even if you DO walk that Dam hill, but you Won't!" and I didn't want to have to tell  her I did, so I pressed on!

AFter the hill, the last mile and a half or so is flat to the finish. 

I had passed this girl at mile 4 who I had my eye on and she suddenly came up on me.....I THOUGHT the finish was around the corner and started my Kick and passed her again..........oops...when I got around the corner I realized I still had a half mile to go and for a split second I almost stopped..my legs jolted and then I realized there was no way in Hell i was stopping now! I did slow considerabley for a bit as I had just used my last bit of energy!:( she passed me again and I couldn't catch her. I hear Amanda Yelling at me and it encouraged me to just keep going even though my body was yelling at me to stop running...

AS I came up to the home stretch I was in PAIN.....My face was all scrunched up and I was giving it all I had left. I saw my husband and daughters and the CAMERA......lol....decided to SMILE and glad I did, I look so much nicer running with a smile on my face instead of a grimace. :D
I rounded the corner with about 50 feet to go...saw 42:4X as I approached the finish and sprinted....I wanted to get in under 43.... and  I did it!!! 

Final time: 42:54 
Garmin said 6.26 (pace of 6:51)
Race results: 6:55 pace for 6.24 miles. 

6th female overall
2nd in my AG 

I forgot to add my splits. I was SO happy that I somehow still ran my 2nd half faster than my first half...or atleast miles 4,5,6 was faster than 1,2,3. so I acheived my goal!!

Mile 1: 6:55
Mile 2: 6:48
Mile 3: 6:54
Mile 4: 6:43
Mile 5: 7:06 (had the hill)
Mile 6: 6:45
(20:33!!) Only by a few seconds but negative nonetheless!!
last quarter: 6:49 pace.


I NEVER thought I would come within 24 seconds of my PR from back in February when I was Training for a 10K! (42:30).
I am not sure HOW I ran that with only 8wks of base building after 2.5 mos off, but I am feeling excited for the future. I think I can break 40min by this time next year.  I think the gradual down hill obviously helped but even with that, I never expected to run sub 7min miles. I am starting to think that the 8wks off was a great REST for my legs!

Last week I didn't think I would be able to come close to my 1:32:18 half marathon time from spring on Oct 29th this year, but now my perspective has changed and I think I just might be able to break 1:32, or at least come close, with another 5wks of base to go:)

I feel so blessed to run with Amanda and Raina today. To be surrounded by women who are humble, kind and from the goodness of their hearts can be truly happy for others achievements. Amanda kept telling me how proud she was of me and I knew that she really meant it. It is hard to find women in sports who can truly be happy for others and I love them both. It was  a GREAT day and a GREAT Celebration of my 8wk road back. 
8wks ago, I could HARDLY run THREE MILES! .....7wks ago, FIVE MILES WAS extremely difficult..... but 8wks later, I am strong and getting stronger every day. 
To anyone out there who is working hard to come back from an injury or just working toward a goal, don't give up. You will get there. keep at it, and don't ..what ever you do, doubt yourself.

Overall, my heart is full and I am feeling like a blessed woman. 

 Raina, Amanda and I before the race...
 You will have to click on this to see my "hurting" face...couldn't catch darn 444 again....actually I had stopped trying...just wanted to be done:)
 Smile. Do I prove my point?
 so blessed to have a husband who is an amazing photographer...
  this is my favorite picture...This was my "CELEBRATION RUN" for the last 8wks of running since my injury...and I was truly content with my life in this moment and 

thankful to GOD for my legs!!!

 aaaaand....back to grimace. ha ha...

 Beautiful Raina!! did I mention she was 2nd female? uh yeah. rockstar!
 Amazing Amanda, myself and Raina. what wonderful women AND Athletes!
My adorable husband. xx

seriously? just got this email from the race:


WE HAVE ROAD CONTRUCTION ON THE COURSE THIS YEAR.  PGE is doing a lot of construction on the road in order to improve the salmon habitat.  They worked real hard to get the road in the best possible condition for us.  There is a lot of gravel to run through from mile 1.5 to mile 4.5.  There is a 100' total gravel section and a 50' gravel section further down the course.  There are also small sections of gravel where culvert pipe is buried.  We need you to be extremely careful in these areas.  I need the walkers from mile 2.5 to 4.5 to walk single file only please.  Runners will be passing you in a very narrow area.  It will be dangerous for everyone if you don't.

this is retarded.

Bad timing!!! ...or maybe not...thoughts?

*Warning: this post is regarding Lovely Aunt Flo....so if  that's gonna be TMI for you, don't read on.*

So...as you all know I have my first Post Injury race tomorrow:) 10K. I'm excited and looking forward to it. Not putting too much pressure on myself but eager to see what my body will do with race adrenaline after 8wks of base miles. HOPING for a good outcome.

Yesterday, however, I felt a sudden crankiness come over me...then stomach cramps.......
and yes, this morning I woke up to my PERIOD! (I am terrible and never track my period. stupid me). GRRRRR....this would explain the massive fatigue I felt yesterday and why I really didn't feel like running faster than 10min miles..and again this morning 3 miles. 9min pace. thats all I had.

NO motivation

So today is day 1...tomorrow is day 2 which is ALWAYS my heaviest......of course this sort of ticks me off b/c
1. I don't have much energy...at least yesterday and this morning
2. I really don't want to worry about blood running down my legs or having to wear a friggin PAD as back up while I run hard for 6miles. JUST NOT COMFORTABLE. So i'm grumpy about it.

I called Amanda to whine about it and SHE SAYS that some of you think that this will actually help me run faster. ... I did a bit of quick reading online this morning before I had to leave to do my daughters bday party and it DID say something about low estrogen and faster running etc.

SO.....tell me what you know? help me feel encouraged that tomorrow won't be a total waste of my time now.....
( I DO remember having experiences in the past where I ran really good during my period...wish I had paid closer attention to that).

Tempo run and "Best Dam Run" 10K race Preview: This Saturday!!!

Well...here I am 3 days away from My first race POST INJURY:)

I am excited and grateful that I have made good progress the last 8wks. I am a bit nervous that the last 10 days or so I am getting increasing aches and pains in my right leg. The same leg I had the stress fracture in. grrrr. I am wearing a medical grade/ sports compression sleeve that I bought for my LEFT leg where my vericose veins are but am now wearing it on my RIGHT leg b/c I am more concerned about the aches and pains and want to give more support to that leg:)

SO, Dr.John Foland gave me the okay on Monday to do a mini tempo run today as a warm up for the race. He told me 6 miles with the first 3 easy (but progressive) and the last 2-3 at tempo pace or goal race pace (7-7:15ish).
So I headed out this morning around 11:15am and it was already 70 degrees....I was a HOT SWEATY MESS when I got done....

Tempo Run recap:

My first 3 miles were 8:15, 7:45, 8:00..and I felt good...it was a  good relaxed effort the whole time so I was feeling really confident about that....
Mile 4 was 7:16 and honestly felt relatively EASY which I also felt good about...but then by mile 5: 7:15 my legs were TIRED......I pushed hard and ran mile 6 in 6:50...but I was spent and it was all the effort I could muster. 
I probably shouldn't have pushed so hard but there is something within me that once I get out there will NOT let me give anything less than 100%....which can cause serious problems ( and lead to stress fractures people) from running all your 18-20 milers at sub 7:30 pace. sigh....I get so mad at myself!!!

Anyway, I think I feel LESS confident about my 10K on saturday after todays run b/c those 3 miles at  an average of about 7:10 pace was HARD!! how am I going to run 6 miles at that average?


Lucky for me I have the Beautiful Amanda from Runninghood who will be running this for fun with me on saturday. I know I won't get to run with her for more than a mile before she takes off but it will just be nice to know she's there and I know she will hug me at the end of the race regardless if I do great or I flop.
So..thinking of all this, I decided that I really want to run this race for FUN!!

Here is the elevation map. I ran this race 2yrs ago and do not remember it feeling like it was downhill at ALL! I was also not in very good shape so maybe it just felt hard b/c of that. I am REALLY curious to see how it feels to me this time. The Race director said the elevation is "overstated" here...what does that mean?
anyway..a 250 ft drop over 6 miles is really not that much anyway...and that hill at mile 5...I had to walk part of it 2yrs ago lol. Goal this year...Do NOT walk that dam HILL!!


-have FUN and enjoy it! don't feel like death upon finishing

-run it progressively! Lately I have loved finishing off runs with a last fast mile...I hope I can do that in this race...there is one hill at the beginning of the last mile though so that might slow me down but at least EFFORT wise, I hope it can be my best mile:)

-goal I would LIKE to attain is sub 45min but we'll see. 

-use this race merely as a BENCHMARK to see where I'm at after 8 weeks of base running after 2.5 mos off.

-have fun and enjoy running a race with a great new FRIEND!!

-use this race as a CELEBRATION of the last 8wks of running!!! I think this one is most important to me right now.

*all in all, I think I am going to be able to enjoy this day! I always put too much pressure on myself but I think the fact that I have only been back running for 8wks allows me to give myself a little break so that is good.
more than anything I want to look at this race, REGARDLESS of my results and remember it as FUN! ...and happy! I need to remember to just be GRATEFUL that I can run:) This will be my FIRST ever race where I don't PR....so I am just preparing my mind for that:)

Week 7 Recap: 43 miles

Well here's how last week went. sorry I have not been on here all week. I am so behind.
feeling great though and excited about my 10K this saturday. will write about that later this week!

(why is this all underlined? lol)

Week 7 recap:

Monday: 10 miles 8:02 pace
I ran this alone. goal was 8 miles but then I figured since I had the time and the girls were at school I might as well do 10. I ran about 8:25 pace til mile 8 and then decided to see waht I could do the last 2 miles and pushed hard.
Mile 9 was 7:12 and mile 10 was 6:45! felt GREAT

Tuesday: 6
miles 9:12pace
recovery run

Wednesday: 11 miles 8:17 pace
Nice run with Steph downtown. bit tired. got a burst of energy the last mile......with half mile to go was running 6:30 pace and last quarter mile was 6min pace...FELT SO good to finish a long run like that!

Thursday: 8 miles ) 8:27 pace
Ran Powell Butte with Joel. Hard run for me...LOTS of STEEP trails and hills..was exhausted. was really happy with this pace for a hard hill run.

Friday: 8 miles 8:24 pace
Nice run with Steph downtown. bit tired. had some pain in my foot for a while.

Total miles: 43

A surprise 10 miler, scary men on bikes, and New racing flats!!!

I headed out on my run yesterday morning on the spring water trail....the goal was 8 easy miles. 

There were a lot of homeless people out and half of them insisted on yelling stupid things at me like a sarcastic "RUN!" ....it's really annoying. At one point I was by myself in an area with lots of trees and two homeless men on bikes. My heart was pounding...I did NOT feel safe for a few minutes there, and promised myself I would never run the spring water trail alone again without my pepper spray!! I try to make eye contact though and look confident as if to say, don't try and mess with me, b/c I wouldn't go down without a fight!
I've heard that it's important to make eye contact and not to look sheepish when in a vulnerable position b/c attackers look to attack those who appear weak. 

Anyway...that is a whole other post...I have HUGE fears about being attacked but i am trying to get past them and not let them keep me from enjoying my freedoms. 

So, at mile 6 I was passing my car and was going to do one more mile out and back to make 8 miles but I was feeling good!, had been running a nice easy pace of 8-8:30 and decided to go for 10miles. Erika was at Preschool, Megan at school and I can't tell you how AMAZING it felt to have extra time to run!! I didn't have to rush to be home...it was just me and the pavement. sigh....seriously, one of the best feelings I've felt in a long time. I am REALLY enjoying having a few hours each week alone without my girls, though I MISS Them and love them dearly! ( I do!).

SO...at mile 9, I decided to push just a little to get my overall pace down a bit..to my surprise though, I suddenly had so much energy!!

I felt like every step I was BOUNCING high in the air....it felt amazing! I LOVE miles like that!!! the pace was 7:12 for mile 9!!! 

then Mile 10, I decided to bring it home.....
Mile 10 was 6:45!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was breathing hard, but breathing was in a good controlled rythm....I love that feeling:)

Felt SOOOOOOOOOO good! that last half mile was tough, but manageable:)

My overall pace for my 2nd 10miler was 8:02. 

SO...what did I do?  I celebrated by buying myself THESE for my 10K race next weekend:

7.7oz of racing BLISS!
My new Saucony Kinvara's!!

Why I love these shoes:
-they have a wide toe box
-they are the most beautiful bright colors
-they are saucony's...and I all my trainers are saucony's..seem to fit my feet good
-are lightweight and a good racing flat but have lots of sole support just like my 
brooks launches.
( I dont' do well with the super thin flat soles, it hurts my feet)

They are gonna help me run SUPER FAST next weekend!!!! well....maybe not...but they will help me looks SUPER GOOD while I TRY to run superfast, how about that?:) lol 

Week 6 recap: another 40 mile week

well that is 2wks in a row at 40 miles. I hope I am not overdoing it. I feel okay so I am going with it. i am trying to be very IN TUNE with my body though and listen to it.
I want to start training so bad, but I also understand and respect the value of putting in a solid 12wks of BASE:)

Week 6 recap:

Monday: 6.2 miles 7:32 pace was at the coast for a mini family vacation. Got up at 6:30am and slipped quietly out of the hotel room:)  at about mile 3.5 I decided  to push a  little to see what kind of 10K time I could get. fastest 6.2 miles I've run so far.

Tuesday: 7.2 miles 8:26 pace
Ran around the golf course here. soft surface. i try to run soft for half my runs to avoid injury.

Wednesday: 8.75 miles 9:20 pace.
Ran in Forest Park with Joel. This run was CRAZY! little tiny trail about 2ft wide, winding up and down and all around. The first 4 miles was great little ups and downs but pretty easy. I was a bit nervous as I notice we were gradually getting more and more DOWN into the forest. Sure enough at mile 5.5 joel says "okay we're going ot have to climb back up now"....crap. yes, over 3 friggin miles of STEEP uphill....I was DYING! at one point he checked my HR and it was in the 170's. HARD run!!!! LOTS of hills!

Thursday: 10 miles (first double digit run!) 8:19 pace
Met Steph downtown.....it was already 9:30am and HOT (in the 70's I think).....by mile 2 I wanted to quit. My legs were SO tired from the run the day before!! I drank over 20oz of water during this run. I FELT like I was running 10min miles so I was shocked to see Stephs Garmin at the end of this run! felt GREAT about a 8:19 pace on TIRED legs!

Friday: 2 miles 10:00 pace
Planned to take friday off but I knew I Wouldn't have time to hit 8 miles on saturday to make my 40 miles b/c of work. so ran a slow easy 2 recovery.

Saturday: 5.8 miles 9:13 pace
Debated jsut skipping this...but the crazy neurotic OCD part of me HAD to hit 40 miles. 

I worked a 12hr day, tucked my kids into bed and at 8pm went to the treadmill in our HOT un-air conditioned gym at the apartment! I think it was 90 degrees in there!! AND I ate a huge Red Robin burger and milk shake before this. I almost tossed my cookies more than once during this run! HA!

This is the picture I texted back to Amanda when she texted me while I was running! 


So the goal for this week is 40-45 miles. 
I wrote a plan for myself like this and we'll see how it goes:
monday-8 miles
tuesday-7 miles
wednesday-8 miles
friday - 8 miles
total: 42

First double digit run!- reflections on chasing your DREAMS! - & pro running photos


So...you might have noticed the name of my blog is "I DREAM of running" and the url is "I DREAM 2 run".....
ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a runner. I remember vividly my first private track meet at age 8. It was the 400m. I won. and I LOVED it. I never forgot that feeling.

I also remember in elementary school and high school playing capture the flag, ball tag, football, soccer, basketball ...and every single one of them I loved BECAUSE they required lots of RUNNING (surprise surprise:) To this day, any sport that requires running around on a field, I LOVE! I was always the fastest and I loved it! If you haven't noticed...I was blessed (or cursed?) with a very competetive spirit. Luckily I am not competetive with those I love and never have been. I WAS blessed with a heart that truely REJOICES in others successes and loves to encourage!

Well...here we are 20 yrs later and I still Love to run....just I hadn't done it in almost 20yrs.

So....if I LOVED running so much ...why did it take til I was turning 30 to start doing it again???
I have asked myself this a lot in the last 2yrs and wanted to kick myself a few times.
For years and years a little voice inside my head said:
 " you are a runner". 
and I. didn't. listen. 

I didn't have the confidence to run or believe I could really do anything with it. I didn't know "how" to "fit it in" to my life or where to start and I was afraid to find out that maybe I wasn't good at it like I was when I was little.
Now at age 32, I am realizing that it is NEVER too late to chase a dream!
I DO lie in bed at night dreaming of running. of racing and of WINNING races. It is hard for me to put this all out there b/c there is still that VERY insecure girl deep inside that feels like I'm not good enough. That I'll never be that girl who can run a 6min pace for a 10K or even a 5K, but If I allow myself to let that voice win, I will NEVER know what "might have been". And there are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many things in my life and all through my teens and 20's that I let slip by b/c I lacked confidence.

Hiring Joel last year, however, took me to a level of confidence I had never before experienced and I HAVE to believe that if I can go from a 1:46 half marathon to a 1:32 half marathon in a short time with proper training, then I can go from a 1:32 to a 1:20 also. In my mind it is like a simple equation:

Proper training + dedication, hard work and PERSERVERENCE = Success!

That is how my brain works. That is why I believe in so many of you who have dreams. If you do the WORK, you will get the result! I REALLY believe that....and Life is too short to not die trying.

My whole life I have also wanted to be a motivational speaker. I was talking to Amanda this morning about how inspiring her writing is and how I am a TERRIBLE writer. Partially b/c I am lazy, impatient and just un-articulate. I think I can get away with not being articulate when I SPEAK, b/c I make up for it with enthusiasm and passion, but that doesn't really come across in my writing.....so thank you for those few of you who read my blog. I know I am a sucky writer...it's actually one of my insecurities but I'm trying.

Anyhow...I regress.
So....I guess my point in all this rambling about dreams is don't waste years and years like I have not chasing your dreams. If you are good at something or you want something bad enough, start today. go after it. The human spirit has more power than we realize and you can do ANYTHING you want in this life.

Okay...getting off my soap box and onto running stuff: numbers.......

SO...today was my first TEN MILE RUN!! yes 10 miles!!! woohoo!!
 6wks ago I was STRUGGLING big time to run 4 or 5, some days even 3 seemed too much...but here I am, into the double digits and not looking back:) Just like you ALL told me...it IS coming back and I am feeling stronger Every day!
I am still in Major recovery mode and won't be doing any hard training yet. I have ANOTHER 6 wks of just base building and I'm EXCITED about it!!

So, I dropped Erika off at Pre-school this morning and headed to meet the lovely Stephanie downtown for our run.
YESTERDAY, Joel took me on a 8.75 mile run in Forest Park and about KILLED me! the last 4 miles was all uphill...and not gradual slopes either...STEEP!, Had I not been in the middle of no where I would have quit at mile 6...but My car was still 3 miles away and I had a friggin gazelle in front of me to chase;)
SO....this morning my legs were DEAD! and I mean...like heavy weights.....so fatigued....
we started running and seriously at 2 miles in, I was thinking "this was a bad decision to try to do 10 today" .....BUT Stephanie wasn't about to let me quit....so we went on.
It was getting really hot around 10am and I ended up consuming over 20oz of water during this run! Yes, it was that hot!.......so grateful for water! Thank you God for water! I gave Stephanie her own water bottle to take along and then ended up drinking all her water too! lol...oops.

The last 2 miles I didn't think I could finish I was so tired but again, pressed on b/c someone was running with me. we finished in 1:23: XX something....it was an 8:19 overall pace which REALLY surprised me b/c I FELT like I was running 9-10min pace. I even managed to get down to a sub 8min pace the last quarter mile and push myself.

I WAS going to try to hit 45 miles again this week, BUT with that hard run yesterday and my first 10 miler today I am going ot take a rest day tomorrow or I might run just 2-3 miles so I can hit my 40 but that's it:)
I am  trying hard to learn to listen to my body and know when I need to rest:)

*and I would still LOVE your advice and opinion about Boston in my last post: here - thanks!!

After our 10 mile run, I came home to the final product of our running shoot I spoke about Here so here they are:  thanks to Craig for his fabulous work!
My favorite is the black and white at the end.

I am planning to do something special with these pics but dont' want to jinx myself so we'll see how it goes:)
(click photos to see full size)

Boston or Eugene???? need to decide SOON-help!

So....with Boston Registration only a week or two away....I find myself thinking and reflecting on what I should do.
On my first marathon in May I qualified for Boston with a 3:35:43 (not the time I was going for at all, but it was Hot and I got a stress fracture so in hindsight I'm actually happy with it:)....none the less,I did qualify and now I need to decide if I am going to try to register or not?

Options for running my 2nd marathon:
Go to Boston or stay local and Run Eugene



Everyone tells me "if you CAN run Boston, Run Boston!".....so this is always going through my head,
BUT I have to weigh the pro's and con's.

*and first off, yes I understand I MAY NOT even get in....but the people at Boston told me they think it won't fill up til about 2min before the qualifying time. 

1. If we go to Boston, it is going to be expensive!, and I have to find someone to watch my 2 girls for 4 or 5 days. we have no family here and my best friend is moving away in December, so that is challenge #1.

2. I feel like right now I want a FAST marathon time more than I just want the "experience" that Boston offers which makes it a tough choice. Could I enjoy running Boston the way I want to, knowing I won't get my fastest capable time?

I am torn b/c I don't WANT to give up the chance to run Boston-I think there is a novelty about qualifying on your first marathon and being able to go run it as your 2nd!......BUT I know I will qualify again, and I think that maybe it is smart to WAIT for another year when I am willing to run a marathon for FUN and just enjoy the experience.

Right now I think my priorities are about getting in prime shape and banging out some serious PR's for the next few years.

HOWEVER, some of the beautiful wonderful women in my life WILL BE running Boston and I also know how great it would be to share that experience with them:/ sigh....
I also think that if I did Boston a few years from now, we would be able to afford to make it a much better vacation by then....I'm just not sure what to do.

3. IF I run EUGENE It IS a fast course.....it won't cost me money for travel or babysitting, and I will have a much better chance of getting that fast marathon time I'm after.....but that is about the only Pro I can find with it.

It seems to me like Eugene is financially the better choice and time-wise if I decide that that is the  more important to me this spring then it also makes it the better choice......but I know myself and I know NOT trying to get into Boston will drive me crazy.

What would you do??? any thoughts or advice? would I be stupid to give up this chance to run Boston?

Seaside, OR 10K. Race Host: Me:)

half way through my run along the Oregon coast today, I decided to make it a 10K trial run....I was thinking about this upcoming 10K in 3wks trying to figure out what I think I will realistically be capable of with just a few weeks of base miles and so I decided to try to hold the pace I was at. The results were:
6.2 miles in 46:44.  (7:32 pace)

good right? most people will say , great job! yes..thank you, great job......
but INSIDE I'm thinking "seriously? 46:44? and 5 mos ago I ran a 42:30?. hmph.  it's really hard to celebrate things you've ALREADY celebrated.  a year ago that 46min 10K WAS awesome..but not so much when you've already beat it by 4min.
Ugh..help me be GRATEFUL. I can be such a BRATT with myself!

I have mentioned before...I am EXTREMLEY competetive with MYSELF.  I really try hard to not compare myself to others b/c it does me no good. I DO allow myself though to be inspired by others however.

I was able to run into a few old running friends this weekend and was GENUINELY happy to hear of all their success....
37 min 10K's 1:16 half marathons...crazy stuff! but these girls were girls like me a few years ago...so I KNOW I can get there.
I am that eternal optimist when it comes to training and numbers.
I BELIEVE that it just takes the right training and committment. Talent? yes...there needs to be SOME talent..but if you work your booty off you can get there.
I WANT to run a sub 40min 10K. I want to get down in the low 1:20's for a half and I WANT that 3:15 marathon!......(that's a lie...I want a 3hr marathon:):) I know I have big dreams. dont' remind me;)

I KNOW I have a long way to go. I am not by any means kidding myself into thinking this is a 1 year or even 2 year goal. I am looking at the next 3-4yrs to reach these goals, especially since I have less than a year of real running under my belt....but the HEART of me just wants to go NOW! wants to train my butt off and it's SO hard knowing that I CAN'T. I mean I really Can't. If I did, I would seriously risk injury again and that is not worth the risk....
but still it is so hard to be patient...even when I know it's the right thing to do.

My mind is stuck in a trap the last 24hrs...circling over and over about training and races and wanting to be somewhere I'm not. does this ever happen to you?
I have been reminded that if I dont' work HARD to stay BALANCED, I will  again lose focus of what's really important, so it is a GOOD THING that I have limits right now I am not allowed to cross and I just need to be thankful for that.

Some day, I will be allowed to let go and give it everything I've got...for now....I need to just chill my jets and enjoy JUST RUNNING. So hard. so so hard.

ugh...anyway...feel better just venting that out there to cyber space. Can't vent about these things to my hubby b/c he just looks at me like I'm from outer space...he really doesn't "get" my love for running.

So for today....I am working on being thankful for my 46 min 10K. and in 3wks I get to run a REAL 10k with REAL people:)!!

week 5 recap: 40 miles! woot woot!

I did it! I ran 40 miles this week:) I ran everyday and felt great.....

well that's not entirely true...mentally I felt GREAT, physically a bit tired but that is to be expected when starting over I guess.
My goal was 36 miles
actual miles 40.
I really like how Britt does her recaps ..it is fun for me to read about what others are doing and experiencing, so I am going to follow suit.

Monday: 6.16 miles 7:42 pace
After my 7:45 pace for the hood to coast leg my legs were still a bit tired but I ran this good...had a big hill but was a great run overall. was lightly misting which actually felt fabulous:)

Tuesday: 8 miles 8:04 pace
Ran with Stephanie from Soggy Runner Girl. We met at the waterfront..such a beautiful run and so nice to meet with someone. makes my miles go by so fast!!
legs suddenly felt deadly tired the last mile. we always progressively get faster so i was dead by the end.

Wednesday: 6 miles 8:00 pace.
Ran this around the golf course on soft surface while my neice and daughter walked and played. Great run and went by fast!

Thursday: 4 miles 8:31 pace
Was feeling really tired and when I did the math knowing I was going to run with Stephanie the next 2 days and I didn't want to end up over 40 miles this week..I used this as  an easy recovery run and cut my  miles down to only 4. felt smart for doing this since I am always running a bit faster when with Steph:)

Friday: 8.28 miles 8:17 pace
Ran with Stephanie down town again. Had to be early as I had a wedding at 10. I could feel the miles catching up with me. My body is still in shock I think....especially since i had only run 10 miles last week. This run was  a bit slower...again tired legs the last mile.

Saturday: 7.5 miles 7:59 pace
Got up early....SO hard to get up this morning at 5:30am....but then remembered a FABULOUS dream I had about my friend Helen last night. She is running the womens Eugene half tomorrow and is hoping to PR on her recent 1:18:15. I dreamt she ran the sub 1:15 that is needed to qualify for the olympic trials in the marathon and it was the happiest dream! sort of strange and not sure WHY I had the dream but I was so genuinely excited for her. She is 31 and has just been reaching these amazing goals the last 2 yrs. It has inspired me and quite honestly is what got me out of bed this morning and stopped me from texting Stephanie to tell her I was going back to sleep:)

Had a great chat with Amanda today about fall training and meeting together for long runs and speed workouts. I love that girl and all her stinkin' enthusiasm! she is a JOY to be around. I am so blessed to have met these 2 ladies who are SO close by that I can run with. I have been on a quest for a regular running partner who runs my pace for OVER 2yrs....so thankful to have finally found some peeps!!

Hope everyone has a great long weekend!!

How is your training going? what races do you have coming up??

thankful for the small things....10K race approaching

So halfway through week 5 and I am at 24 miles:) I will run another 14-16miles in the next 2 days and get close to 40 miles this week. 
The last few days I have been enjoying running SO much! 

I think part of it is due to the fact that I found a running partner who is willing to get up and meet me downtown at 5:45am a few times a week. Stephanie at Soggy Runner Girl is awesome!
With us both being moms and having busy husbands we LIKE to get up when it's still dark outside to ensure we get our run done and out of the way before the craziness starts:) 

On Tuesday I met her for a beautiful 8 mile run on the waterfront downtown. We get to cross a bridge over the river and watch the sun come up. The sunrise reflects off the beautiful glass high rise buildings and casts a beautiful glow on the river. As we run this route, I feel SO thankful. 

Thankful to have a friend to run with. 
Thankful to currently have 2 working legs to run on.
Thankful I have a passion that brings me joy. 
Thankful for my family. 
Thankful I am ENJOYING this great blessing of running at the moment. 
Thankful...honestly...just for LIFE!

My favorite time to run is EARLY in the morning. There is something extremely special and spiritual about this time of day. I always feel closest to God at this time of day also. To be out in the world before the world is awake...it is still quiet and still and so peaceful to me.

But even on the days I've had to run alone, I have still felt an immense amount of joy. 
Sometimes we can get stuck in a rutt and it's hard to get out the door...we don't really enjoy our runs etc..and I'm sure that will return...but for now I am still in that euphoric phase where I am so happy to be moving again and working my butt off to get back the fitness level I had a few months ago. 

Running with Stephanie a few days a week forces me to hold a pace that is just slightly challenging...our 8 miles at an 8:05 pace the other day was perfect. My legs didn't feel heavy til the last 1.5 miles. Then it is good for me also to take a few recovery days like today when I ran 4 miles at an 8:30 pace. 


I am excited for my 10K in 3wks....eeeek. I know I will not even get CLOSE to PR'ing on my 42:30 but it will be good for me to see where I'm at and feel the burn of pushing my limits. I am hoping I can hold a 7:15 pace for 6.2 by then:):)  I should be up to 50 miles by then and so I will JUST be reaching some good base mileage. I am really curious to see where my abilities are at after 8wks of just base running. Should be interesting:)

well, off to bed...got to be downtown at 6am tomorrow morning:) and then rush home to be BACK downtown for a wedding at 10am:):) I love my life.