A year ago, I had tunnel vision. I was borderline obsessed with running and had a hard time seeing anything outside my goals. NO flexibility. I wanted what I wanted and I wasn't willing to slow down or stop til I got it. I didn't listen to my body, I listened to a training plan. I did what my coach told me no matter how tired, emotional or over worked I was. I showed up at my marathon after barely recovering from the flu, and with a stress fracture. When everything fell apart, I was a Hot Mess! instead of rejoicing in 3:35 for a first marathon despite all those set backs, I sat down and cried feeling like an utter failure.
Today, I sit here facing more adversity but feeling completely in control of my emotions and my outlook.
I have uncontrollably sore quads, and not sure why. Perhaps from the drugs this past week?
it doesn't really make sense. I sat on my butt ...rather laid in bed for 2 days and when i tried to run again, it feels like I ran 3 marathons.
I said to Stephanie this morning, " It seems like every time I get on a roll, something stops me dead in my tracks. WHY?!". It is frustrating yes...but it is NOT the end of the world.
I have become a lot more flexible with My goals and with myself.
I can only do what I can do.
So, I may not be able to race that 5K on Sunday. Disappointing? yes. but not the end of the world.
I may have missed both my big workouts this week:
my 15 progression and 10x 2 min hills....
frustrating? yes. but not the end of the world.
I am glad that I can face these challenges without having an anxiety attack. I am a fighter. I never quit. I don't give up. I got out and ran 10.5 miles yesterday. every step hurt my quads. EVERY step. But it wasn't an "i'm gonna get injured if I keep running" hurt...it was just a "my legs are so tired and dead" hurt. SO I kept going. I pushed through. I told myself that I might feel like this during the marathon so use this as training on how to push through the fatigue.
I will continue to do EVERYTHING that I can do,
whatever that may be and whatever I have to give come
April 16th
will just have to be enough. I am not going to lose sleep over it.
It might be a 3:25 or it might be a 3:15 (God willing), but whatever it is,
it will be ENOUGH.
I have YEARS to run still....and apparently my body likes to take mandatory breaks every 3 weeks during marathon training;) ....no really, I'm serious. lol we'll see what happens 3-4 wks from now:)
Running has been so good for my health...both physically and mentally. It has taught me a lot about myself, my strengths AND my weaknesses....and it feels good to know that I can surrender to the"stuff" that life throws my way and try to take it all in stride.
I feel like my motto lately is "It's Not the End of the World". I mean really...there are bigger things in the world to worry about that me getting kidney stones and missing another 3 days of training....
IT IS WHAT IT IS:)
(as my husband likes to say)
I continue to embrace the Love and gratitude I feel to
JUST BE ABLE TO RUN!
So, get out there, enjoy the feeling of the pavement under your feet...no matter how fast, slow or sore you are today:) It is a blessing to have legs to run!
Here's my 3 yr old mooshy smiling at all the people
clapping for her as she crossed the finish line of her first race.
See the JOY on her face? she didn't care how fast she ran
it, she just felt GREAT about herself for DOING IT!
If we could all be like little children:)