At first when we put the film up it didn't jump out at us...I thought I was good and was already thinking about trying to run again tomorrow morning...but then we saw it. You can see the small callus formation....and when we measured it....it is EXACTLY at the spot on my leg that hurts and that I felt the sharp pain at mile 22 of my marathon:(:(
if you look closely you can see where steve circled the area with a pencil.
close-up
Today has been tough but I am proud I have not yet broke down crying. I have heard from friends about their successful races this weekend and seen pics online about all the great running people are doing and I have tried to be supportive and kind and not let it get me down b/c I have another 4 WEEKS OF NO RUNNING ahead of me:(
Some thoughts I've had today: (read all the way through, they start off rough but get better:)
-I don't EVER want this to happen again. SO..what can I do differently? like I said...try a different approach to training...more conservative for sure-be CAREFUL.
-I can accept the fact that this is my fate. done. but what makes me feel most sad is that I have been ANXIOUSLY waiting for summer running. I HATE running for 8 mos out of the year at 6am ALONE, in the DARK, BUT I do it b/c I look forward to the reward of the summer morning runs. it's light by 5:30am and I get this amazing spiritual and emotional regeneration on my 3 mo's of summer runs...but now I am missing it:( sure I will hopefully be running again by August..but then I have 4-6wks at best of nice morning runs where I don't need pepper spray b/c I live in the friggin GHETTO and I'm worried I'm going to be raped or mugged on the streets of gresham running lone in the dark. sigh.
THIS is hard for me.
I don't want to be up and running again right when I got back into another 9 mo's of the what I call the HARD running months....the ones that are really hard to get out of bed for and test your commitment as an athlete. I am missing the rewarding months of running for my commitment during the hard months. I feel robbed. why couldn't I get the stress fracture in December? THAT would have been awesome!!!:):) an excuse to not get up and run in the FREEZING cold! I would totally take that!;)
-now I have to find an alternative. Steve says that the eliptical isn't a GREAT idea....the more rest the faster i will heal....so it looks like I need to sneak into our pool at 6am (doesn't open til 9am) lol and try to do some AQUA Jogging:)
-I am NOT going to let this ruin me. I am a committed person. I am stronger than ANY injury.
-I WILL come back...and I will come back with a vengeance.
-I am really sad about missing sauvie island half on July 4th as I mentioned previously...but this injury will fuel my desire and NEXT year I will finish in the top 10 of that race! mark my words...and it is a BIG race. When I set my mind to something .I do it.
-God never gives us something that we can't handle. I believe that. So, obviously this is not out of my league of struggles. I will survive.
-When I think THIS sucks, I try to think of others and how they are handling MUCH worse trials than me. At least I still have my children, my husband, my health (in the rest of my body:)), a roof over my head, a car to drive, a job, money in the bank, a God who loves me, My Savior Jesus Christ who understands EVERYTHING we go through, Prayer, the Scriptures, a gym at my disposal to strengthen the rest of my body, good friends, Love surrounding me, blogger buddies like you guys, a free country to live in, clothes on my back....I could go on and on...so this tiny little stress fracture I am dealing with is NOT going to take me down.
No MA'AM! MY LIFE IS SO BLESSED and the next 4wks will fly by as I keep myself focused on staying strong and finding JOY in the JOURNEY:)
-I know the next 4wks is going to have moments when I don't feel so optimistic and I just want to throw a fit. On those days and in those moments, I promise myself I will drop to my knees and pray for the ability to stay positive and to be able to count my blessings.
I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who gives me trials to strengthen me and make me a better, stronger person.