About me

Bad news...

I just got home...sat on the couch and bawled my eyes out. I need to vent so i'm sorry if this post is a downer. you may skip it if you like but I need to DUMP so I can get over it and move on!

My heart... I can feel it physically aching. My mind is racing and my patience is gone.
after 3 LONG weeks of COMPLETE rest, I hopped on the treadmill this morning...HOPEFUL.
but by the 3rd step the SAME pain I felt at mile 22 of my marathon was back. NO difference. no change. not any better:(

I know so many of you have been here before. Please help me? I feel so sad and distraught right now.
I didn't even get to end on a high. I am still feeling a bit sad about the marathon and now this. I feel
completely. DEFEATED.

I am trying to look past the half marathon I've been dreaming of running for 2yrs and think about the 10K and 15K I plan to run in Sept/October. It helps a Little but not enough.
I know this too shall pass.
this too shall pass. this too shall pass...

Off to the Sports Chiropractor on Tuesday, I wanted to get in today but he was full.

I need to dig deep. Depression runs in my family...I have suffered from it badly after each child and certain circumstances (like this one) can trigger me to crawl into my bed and not come out for days:( I don't want to put my family through this. I am stronger than an injury or any set back. I can get through this.

The hardest part is putting on a happy face when inside I am miserable.

I will head to the pool today...my friends will say "how did the run go?"
I will explain what's happened or maybe I won't and it will be dealt with a  simple "oh that sucks" which feels like a response appropriate for when you go to your favorite restaurant for lunch and they were out of your favorite salad dressing..... my non-running friends TRY to understand and I love them for even caring...but they don't understand how running has become a living breathing companion for me....and it's hard to explain.... it's like taking away my best friend in an instant and telling me you don't know when she'll be back or if our friendship will ever be the same when she returns.