6.2 miles in 46:44. (7:32 pace)
good right? most people will say , great job! yes..thank you, great job......
but INSIDE I'm thinking "seriously? 46:44? and 5 mos ago I ran a 42:30?. hmph. it's really hard to celebrate things you've ALREADY celebrated. a year ago that 46min 10K WAS awesome..but not so much when you've already beat it by 4min.
Ugh..help me be GRATEFUL. I can be such a BRATT with myself!
I have mentioned before...I am EXTREMLEY competetive with MYSELF. I really try hard to not compare myself to others b/c it does me no good. I DO allow myself though to be inspired by others however.
I was able to run into a few old running friends this weekend and was GENUINELY happy to hear of all their success....
37 min 10K's 1:16 half marathons...crazy stuff! but these girls were girls like me a few years ago...so I KNOW I can get there.
I am that eternal optimist when it comes to training and numbers.
I BELIEVE that it just takes the right training and committment. Talent? yes...there needs to be SOME talent..but if you work your booty off you can get there.
I WANT to run a sub 40min 10K. I want to get down in the low 1:20's for a half and I WANT that 3:15 marathon!......(that's a lie...I want a 3hr marathon:):) I know I have big dreams. dont' remind me;)
I KNOW I have a long way to go. I am not by any means kidding myself into thinking this is a 1 year or even 2 year goal. I am looking at the next 3-4yrs to reach these goals, especially since I have less than a year of real running under my belt....but the HEART of me just wants to go NOW! wants to train my butt off and it's SO hard knowing that I CAN'T. I mean I really Can't. If I did, I would seriously risk injury again and that is not worth the risk....
but still it is so hard to be patient...even when I know it's the right thing to do.
My mind is stuck in a trap the last 24hrs...circling over and over about training and races and wanting to be somewhere I'm not. does this ever happen to you?
I have been reminded that if I dont' work HARD to stay BALANCED, I will again lose focus of what's really important, so it is a GOOD THING that I have limits right now I am not allowed to cross and I just need to be thankful for that.
Some day, I will be allowed to let go and give it everything I've got...for now....I need to just chill my jets and enjoy JUST RUNNING. So hard. so so hard.
ugh...anyway...feel better just venting that out there to cyber space. Can't vent about these things to my hubby b/c he just looks at me like I'm from outer space...he really doesn't "get" my love for running.
So for today....I am working on being thankful for my 46 min 10K. and in 3wks I get to run a REAL 10k with REAL people:)!!