Boston 2012: disappointment, injury and spectating....

Part 1: written on the plane home last night

Well...after 8 mos of planning and training...this Boston trip did not turn out to be what I thought it would.

 AT. ALL.
There are times in our lives when we sense disappointment approaching.....this one I did not see coming. 

Up until 2wks before, things were going perfectly.
For the past 15 weeks I have trained with relative ease. I have felt amazing almost the entire time and felt like i handled all the workouts and mileage wonderfully. I never once felt beat down or super worn out, in fact compared to training for my first marathon last year, I could not believe how EASY this training felt to me.

However, after that very hilly 22 miler a few weeks ago, I experienced pain and soreness in my left quad.  In hindsight , I WISH I had taken a few days OFF, but when we are IN training, it is hard to see what is probably the BEST thing to do long-term at that moment. I stacked that week with 2 long runs and 2 other workouts b/c I decided to do that 22 on the Sunday. John says he wishes he had told me NO and in the future, he will.

I am sad that it's been almost a year since my very disappointing marathon in windermere and I still can't say I've run another marathon. 

This has been an intensely challenging year to fight my way back to be in shape, to be healthy and to be able to have a GOOD marathon experience......but instead I am here, a year later, in the exact same position and it is abstolutely gut wrenching and heart breaking at times. I want nothing more than to run but it's been 11 days and my body is just beginning ot feel stagnant. Don't worry I plan to make up with my enemy "the eliptical" next week.

Although I was initially thinking it was a stress fracture of my femur, John is still not convinced....which actually makes me happy! he really thinks it is  agluteal tear and i'm praying it is. I am trying ot find a way to get a cheap MRI b/c I have no money left aftr this trip to spend on one. it would bring a lot of peace of mind to my heart and mind to know for sure what my injury is so we can plan my recovery time.

What have I learned from this? well I don't entirely know yet. It is all sort of a blurr. 

I showed up in Boston, hopeful of fulfilling a dream..which slowly lead into sadness, frustration and the unknown of whether I had travelled all that way and would even be able to run or not? should I load up on painkillers and try to run, risking more injury or take the deferment and wait til next year?....by saturday night,I had made the decision that the right choice was NOT to run. Not to risk more damage to my body. 

it was so hard to make that decision and to put on  a happy face for everyone around me.
Like I said, I just didn't see this trial coming. I was not prepared. 

ONce I made the decision saturday, it didn't get easier but I knew I had to surrender my will to the inevitable and go with my mantra " it is what it is".  I am not special. I am not immune to trials in this life and to crappy things happening to me. What makes me so much better than the next person suffering a trial MUCH WORSE than mine? nothing. So I take this challenge as gracefully as I can and try to use it to make me stronger. tougher, wiser and more patient. Hopefully making me a better person in the end..which is why I think God lets these things happen to us...to mold us...to shape us...and to refine us. 

Part 2: written tonight

Well....I have good news! I got an X-ray today and it didn't show anything except a  possible edema in my hip socket which if that's the case, John says take a few weeks off and it should heel. 

even BETTER news is that I have a wonderful connection with an old client and a current associate of my husbands...she owns 3 MRI clinics and he sends all of his patients to her. 

So I humbled myself and asked for the favor b/c I can' t afford an MRI right now and this will give us  a SURE answer of what is going on....she got back to me tonight and I should be able to call the office tomorrow and schedule it! I am SO thankful!!! she has no idea what a blessing this is...so hopefully by Monday i will know what is wrong with my leg/butt:):)

I am already thinking of marathons...there is Windemere next month...prob too soon.....Vancouver in June and Sauvie in July! i'm HOPING one of these will work out for me!!! 

Anyway...I have sort of lost my train of thought....

the day of the marathon I was excited to go and watch and cheer for my friends...if I couldn't be RUNNING the race, you better believe I was going to be there to cheer on my sweet friends and give LOTS of shouts of encouragment to those passing by! 

I made my spot about 50 meters from the top of Heart break Hill and after a while...once I got warmed up;), I began shouting such phrases as: 

"You're almost at the top! keep going!! this is your last big hill"

"you're doing GREAT, I know this weather sucks, but you're doing SO great!" (yes, I actually said this)....

after a while, I started commentating to Waylon that what I wanted to say was:

"I know this weather sucks ass, and you feel like Sh** but you're doing awesome!"  and...

"I know you want to punch me in the face right now for telling you to keep going, but you'll thanks me later...as long as you're not passed out on the side of the road!" lol...it was pretty funny. Okay...that last part isn't funny...but anyway...

I was sad that I missed Erin, Melody and Angie...I' not sure HOW they got passed me:( but I DID get these 3 beautiful ladies..I had to run along side them to take their picture...i'm sure the other runners thought I was SO annoying! 

  Beautiful Danya came along first....at a leasurely 7:20 pace:) she had planned to run a 2:50 but decided the night before to run it as a training run...and so she did....in 3:21;)

 Sweet, strong Dorothy, who kindly yelled at me: "Be thankful you're not running in this!" lol

indeed, I was, b/c I was sweating standing in the SHADE!

 aaahh.and one of my besties, Amanda:) my camera was on video by accident so I didn't get a pic til i stopped to fix it...Anna Maria, running on her left and her sweet husband, Waylon on  her right:)

Seeing these 3 ladies, finding their strong, REALLY made my day!!

I was inspired by how hard they worked. This race had NOTHING to do with numbers and EVERYTHING to do with STRENGTH, PERSEVERANCE, DEDICATION, SHEER WILL, and MENTAL TOUGHNESS. 

These women had it all:)

See you in 2013, Boston!