This is the question I asked when I woke up 2 mornings ago with swelling glands.
Wednesday morning turned into wednesday afternoon and the fever hit...the body aches etc.
Yes...pretty much the same sickness that knocked me off my feet at the beginning of this training and made me miss my first 2 wks of base training. It's baaaaaaaaaack!:)
I went to bed on Wednesday at 6:30pm:) This was after practically overdosing on vitamins and zicam all day:) well...after waking up every 1-2hrs from 8pm on I finally got up at 4am (sweating with fever) to take some more zicam. You can see I am really thinking this is going to work right? the zicam can't wait til 6 or 7am:)
I walked into the kitchen and I remember feeling like I was gonna get sick....everything went black and that's the last thing I remember????!!!..the next thing I know I feel a huge bash on my head and i'm lying on my back on my bedroom floor!.
steve screams "Nicole!" and jumps out of bed. After coming out of what felt like a coma, he told me he saw my silouette trying to grasp the door as I stumbled into the room and then i just collapsed:/
My face was green...at least that's what he told me, I didn't really feel like looking in the mirror at that point.
what would have happened if I had passed out in the kitchen i wonder? would I have laid there til morning? lol....
seriously..one of the craziest experiences.
Anyway...to say the least, I AM SICK!.
Now...I COULD look at this with 8 days before my marathon and just throw in the towel.
i mean really people...how many setbacks can one girl have in 8wks of training?
BUT
Instead I decided to take the positive outlook and here it goes:
1. It is a blessing that I got sick THIS wednesday and not next wednesday:)
if it was next wednesday there is no way I would have been better by saturday to run.
2.This last and final straw has taught me that I can't always be in control. I must exercise my faith and trust that the Lord knows me, He knows my goals and dreams and He is in charge.
3.I am feeling more grateful than ever that I have legs to run..( and a head as well after that fall!) and realize that how fast I run this race doesn't matter as much as I thought it did.
4. I think after all these setbacks, I am actually going to APPRECIATE running this marathon than I would have otherwise. I think the feeling of finishing is going to be the most amazing feeling. If I can run a marathon after all this crap, I can do anything:)
5. I realize I am a strong person. One that does not give up easily:)
6. I am probably going to have REALLY fresh legs since I probably can't try to run again until at least monday. (okay..that makes me a little grumpy, but trying to be positive)
I came into this training determined to run a sub 3;20 marathon. The trials,injury, sicknesses that I have faced have caused me to reflect upon that goal and ask myself.
Is the goal of the marathon to run a sub 3:20 OR is the goal to finish the race as strong as you possibly can and feel the amazing sense of accomplishment for doing so? REGARDLESS of your time? of course...my answer is the latter.
I know I am still going to do well b/c I am a fighter, NOT a quitter, and I am going to go out on race morning, singing praises to my GOD for giving me a body that CAN run, a Heart that loves to run, and the WILL to run no matter what!