Lucky? 5K Race recap (and photos)...and...they have RETURNED!:(:(

I did most of my processing over the phone with Amanda....so we'll see how open and honest I can get here...I might be all out of thoughts/emotions and I'm on oxycodone again so my mind is  a bit fuzzy....I hurt and I feel like I could vomit at any given moment.
I am home alone though and kids are sleeping so I might as well write this as my hubby hates it when I blog and he's at work for the evening.

Lets start with a quick recap from this week:

Monday: Off. ( I ran my 22 miles with Amanda the day before. 8:06 average with last mile at 6:51:))
Tuesday: 10 miles easy
Wednesday: 5 x 1 mile repeats:  6:08, 6:15, 6:19, 6:17, 6:30
thursday: 12 easy(double day)
Friday: 10 easy (double day)
Saturday: 5K Luckeython race (8 total)

After my mile repeats I remembered that 5K's hurt...but I was confident I could at least break 20min. I was running the same course I ran the Turkeython on back in November before I even started training and ran a 20:10....so SURELY I could take off AT LEAST 10 seconds.

I woke up this morning and with my first pee..I felt that "twinge".....the twinge I felt when Ipassed my kidney stone 6wks ago.
I ignored it and moved on with my morning....on my way to the race, the sensation was growing. I DID think about possibly skipping the race...but when your mantra is:
 "You're not a quitter" .....well..you understand...makes it hard to walk away. Sweet Amanda kept asking if I was okay.....and I told her I was fine.

I knew the pain wouldnt' get worse til later but was sort of hoping it was just gonna go away and be a false alarm.

when I lined up at the start line, I talked to the girl beside me who had been doing strides beside me to feel out what she was trying to run....she said 6:40-6:50pace.....

The bell rang and off we went......The honest truth is, I felt something a bit "off" in my energy level from the first quarter mile...I looked down and what felt like 6:30 pace was 6:45 pace...I picked it up, since my first mile goal was 6:25.....but it felt much harder today than it normally does....just didn't have that "umph" in my stride.....

Mile 1: 6:32
I headed into mile 2 realizing I was already behind my average...I needed to average 6:25 or better to break 20min.

The course is VERY windey...ANNOYINGLY windey and lots of people to pass and weave in and out of...that was pretty annoying....the 10K'ers started before us so I was passing all sorts of groups and slower individuals...sometimes I had to jump onto the muddy grass if they weren't moving out of the way.
anyway...I FORGOT to look at my watch at mile 2, but it was just over 13min so I was off by atleast 10-15seconds....
Mile 2 was: 6:37
I told myself "this is your last mile....you have GOT to run this fast if you're going to break 20"....I looked down and for most of the mile I was running 6:10pace....Amanda and I passed eachother as she headed into her mile 4 and I headed into my last mile....we just "looked" at each other...that was about all I could do, gasping for air....
Mile 3: 6:15
I started to feel like it just wasn't going to happen today and sure enough when I crossed the finish line ...it read: 20:07..:(:(
My watch said 3.13mi (6:27 average which is a 20:03...but really...who cares?). I didn't do it. I just couldn't bring it today.

I still WON my race, which was great and I felt positive about the whole thing...I knew my body wasn't working properly today so I just let it roll off my back...as ANNOYING as it is......


During our cool down, my pain got quite intense...After 2 miles, I told Amanda I needed to get to my car and get home. I was supposed to go to a wedding and felt HORRIBLE that I had to call my bride and tell her I was in so much pain that I couldnt' make it:( Luckily Bri was doing her hair and told me she could do her makeup as well.
On the way home...I was starting to get chills and shake from the pain...when I got in the door, I immediately took an oxydodone and crawled into the bath.
I still couldn't believe I was passing another FREAKING KIDNEY STONE!

After about 20min...the oxycodone kicked in and I was feeling warm and fuzzy...and a bit woozy. I actually had my friend drive me downtown to the hotel to do my brides makeup...I felt SO BAD cancelling on her.I have an impeccable reputation that I just can't risk being ruined!
My husband picked me up after and on the way home, I hit the naseous phase...which is where I still am now. .....if there is a logn break here...it's bc i'm puking in the bathroom!! grrrrr

SO...WHERE DOES THIS LEAD ME TO???

-well...honestly...a lot of self doubt.....I don't have doubt about the race, I know I am in much better shape than what I ran today....but I have doubt about what all these setbacks and missed trainign is doing to my marathon:(
I am TRYING to stay positive.....b/c I KNOW that getting down will NOT make it better. not even a little bit! so let me rant and then I'll be over it and move on.

During this 11wks of training...I've been sick ...2 or 3 times? lost my MIL, and now had kidney stones twice!:( The fact of the matter is...it DOES affect my training.
will I be able to BRING IT on Race day April 16?

I guess I just have to Trust in God. Trust that he's got me this far..he'll get me there too.
I suppose more than anything I am just discouraged at Life today....but at the same time I feel like I should just shut my face and be thankful! So many people are suffering...have cancer, are dying or have HUGE life challenges....
Me? well this will pass in a few days and I will be hopefully be back on track. I will probably miss my 16mile progressive run Monday but what can ya do?:(

BAck to my OTHER Mantra I guess:....

" It is What it Is"....

well...I can't really bare this discomfort any longer....I'm going to go take more pain meds and hit the sack....

thanks for listening to me complain!

Here are some pics from the day!

 What I decided to race in. If the weather is decent in Boston,I plan to run in these shorts. 

They are the Lulu Lemon Speed shorts and are my VERY favorite shorts!

 going up to receive my award..A fleece blanket:)
( I am really only posting this pictures b/c I think my legs look good here-lol)

 Also, plan to race in these shoes. The Brooks Pure Flow. 

Best shoes I've ever owned. I actually even like them MORE than my launches.
Shocking, I know.

 Thanks Race director guy:)

 2 for 2! we both won our races again.....and yes we are accidentally wearing matching outfits lol. 

it's our new "Team Uniform":)

And our theme song is now "You got a friend in me" from Toy Story 3 lol...

Amanda started singing it to me on the phone tonight..ha ha....

So blessed by this woman...and Stephy too. Love them both times a million!

 Story behind this pic:

 I was sound asleep this afternoon, all drugged up when I hear a little voice from behind me at my bed waking me up, saying "mommy, here you go mommy"....

I turned around to this: apple juice, a doughnut and 2 mini blueberry muffins.
Not gonna lie...I cried. 

what a sweet little ANGEL from Heaven. she is FOUR and her dad and sister were at the park which means she did this all on her OWN! I love you sweet mooshy girl.

I got Steve to take this of us cuddling in my bed when he got back. 

How can you not count your blessings when you wake up to that sweet face trying to take care of you? 

Keep smiling friends....

xxx