About me

Monday, January 30, 2012

71 miles, mean girls, Long run and NEW shoes OH My!

yes...I'm actually going to try to fit this all into ONE post...so bless your heart if you make it through this.

LIFE CHALLENGES:
I had an experience this week that made me stronger and caused me to reflect on some important moral issues.

A friend of a friend...who I TRIED to befriend, even though I had been warned by multiple people of her antics and abuse (yes, I can be that stupid girl, who tries to give people the benefit of the doubt), decided to target me this week in a negative manor.

She first unfriended me on FB, then emailed me to TELL me she unfriended me and why. When I decided I had had enough and blocked her from emailing me again, she emailed my personal account.

The hatred and wrath that came through in her email was heart breaking. Not that it broke MY heart, but that a woman could be so mean and so full of that kind of yuckiness inside was what was heartbreaking.
She told me how she was so much faster than me (which she is-rightfully-she's a semi-professional runner), and that I would never be as fast as her. That she couldnt' believe I complained about being tired after 70 miles when she could run 100...and then finished her email with just some more mean and nasty comments. The thing was her issue with me had NOTHING to with running...so it was weird that she chose to write a completely random email to me just to try to be mean. There was no other motive than to try to make me feel bad about myself.

At first, when I read the email, I was actually shocked. I mean I wondered where this type of anger and irrationality comes from?

However, though she probably hoped that her email would bring me down...make me question my abilities or make me feel bad about myself...it did the opposite:)

I realized just how great I am doing, with all that is on my plate:)

This week I ran my highest mileage week:) 71.2 miles:)

I did this while also juggling:
*being a wife to a husband who is very overwhelmed right now with the passing of his mother and all that settling her estate with no will entails, while also rolling out many HUGE new changes at his clinic
*being a mother to 2 sweet little girls who need constant emotional/physical attention
*managing a very successful business and 2 employees (this is hours every day)
*running a home and being a friend....

This person who sent the email has no other major responsibilities in her life right now but running: No husband, no kids and currently no job.
Yet she had the audacity to try to demean my accomplishment?

It has made me think about a lot of things:
Like, where does my sense of self-worth come from? does it come from running? No.
My sense of self worth and accomplishment come from my family. My husband, my children and most importantly my personal relationship with the Father of my spirit and my understanding of the divinity that lies with me as His daughter.

How will my daughters deal with the challenges of bullying or mean girls when they grow up? how will I make sure that they have the self confidence to not let mean words affect them? how will I make sure they are confident as daughters of God?

I think they need to understand that they are loved, by us and by their Heavenly Father. I know when I joined my church when I was 18, I had no self esteem. I was into drugs, alcohol, smoking and permiscuous behavior. I was searching for acceptance and Love.
Once I discovered that I was a child of God, it changed everything. I suddenly realized that I was enough, just the way I was. I stopped drinking, stopped smoking, cleaned up my life and moved to higher ground.

I have developed a pretty tough skin the last 10yrs. On multiple occasions, I have been the target of bullying. I was going to go into those incidences, but I don't want this post to about me "oh poor me"....it's enough to say that I have been targeted again and again.

It just makes me aware that there are alot of people in this world who are ignorant, insecure, jealous, competitive and well for lack of a better word....Ridiculous!:)

It makes me want to check myself. To make sure i don't fall into any of these traps. I don't ever want to feel insecure or jealous of others. I stated in a previous post that I want to be the kind of friend I like to have and this experience just re-iterated that to myself.

I hope that I can always be AWARE of my actions and behaviors and how they affect others.

RUNNING:


So, I finished my week yesterday with 71 miles and felt GREAT! I started today with a beautiful easy-paced 18 mile run:)
I started out with my friend Chuck and thought we might have been going a little too fast but I was able to easily hold the pace for the whole run and even finish with a small kick. It felt comfortable the whole time and it re-iterated to me that I BELIEVE in the whole running better during menstruation thing. More on this later..I did more reading about it tonight:)

Here was how my 18 went today:
mile 1: 8:11
mile 2: 8:10
mile 3: 8:07
mile 4: 8:29
mile 5: 8:05
mile 6: 8:08
mile 7: 8:06
mile 8: 8:02
mile 9: 7:53
mile 10: 7:46
mile 11: 8:02
mile 12: 8:06
mile 13: 8:05
mile 14: 8:14
mile 15: 7:49
mile 16: 7:42
mile 17: 7:52
mile 18: 7:03 this felt really good which was a GREAT confidence booster at the end of  an 18 mile run:)
Avg: 7:59

I needed a run like this. I came home, took a nice cool ice bath...Erika was my assistant and found great joy in DUMPING the ice in for me and then pouring cold water over me lol. cute kid.


Okay...AAAAAANNND to finish this glorious day, I bought some new shoes from brooksrunning.com!!!!!

I ordered the New Launches!!

 Yes they are beautiful! and My feet will look like little fireballs 
flying through the streets of Boston on April 16th:)



And the PURE FLOWS.....

I have been really interested in trying these for a while...but the white/purple combo sealed the deal. 
I have a mild obsession with white sneakers...there's a good chance these will end up paired 
with my jeans and t-shirt this summer:)









15 comments:

  1. wow, that sounds horrible. that is horrible! you are one the sweetest people ever! so sorry you had to waste any of your time with that. Girl you are amazing! Congrats on your huge mileage!! Love those white and purple shoes....super cute! You will look adorable!

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  2. Some people have such ugly personalities and are not worthy of your time. She probably just LOVES the attention and creating a stir- ignoring her is the best retaliation. Congratulations on 71 miles; that is so awesome, Nicole- you should be very proud of yourself, no matter what the circumstances.

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  3. I am so sorry you went through that! Its so crazy that even as adults people can be so cruel and mean. You are so fabulous and such an amazing spirit and heart and I am grateful to have met you. I an proud of you and all your accomplishments and so look forward to your journey to boston! Those shores are hot too! :-) have a great week and keep your head up cause you are fabulous!

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  4. Ugh, what an icky email to get. You're right - that email was all about HER and her insecurities, not about you. Sounds like you are better off without her - and who needs her when you have those cute new shoes, too? :)

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  5. Wow, clearly she has some issues she needs to learn to deal with! It is sad that people feel like they have to be like that and treat other people bad. Not worth it.
    Great job on your high mileage while juggling all that.

    Hope you love your Pureflows, I am loving mine :)

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  6. My mouth is hanging open reading this. Seriously, this is a grown woman we're talking about? You just have to pitysomeone filled with that amount of crazy.

    Beautiful running this week! Keep you head held high, you're doing a wonderful job with everything on your plate right now.

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  7. Ok, I can NOT believe that someone would send you that kind of email!! It so completely goes against the way most people in the running community are. There is ALWAYS going to be someone faster than me and there are always going to be runners slower than me. Am I any "better" than the slower runners? Heck no. The only person I am competing against when I run is myself. And I am so inspired by runners of all speeds and abilities. It is sad that this person is so narrow-minded and self-absorbed, and that the only "worth" she sees in others is their mileage and their times. Obviously we are all SO much more than that. I am truly sorry you had to deal with this. You are doing an AWESOME job with your mileage and you are so fast! You have big things ahead of you in running and in life. :)
    One side note... the PureFlows are way too awesome to "waste" with jeans... they are amazing to run in. :)

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  8. Wow, so sad that she is so immature and just plain mean! I will never get why people want to hurt and bring others down! I am glad you didn't let it bring you down, your accomplishments are amazing, you do have a full plate and you are far faster than I will ever be and I find that inspirig!
    Now for those shoes, I am a Brooks girl through and through and both of those are gorgeous!!!

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  9. Oh my goodness, this crazy woman needs to be reminded that we are not in highschool, we are grown adults!

    Great job on your long run!

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  10. Aw, she's just jealous 'cause your beautiful!
    NICE 7:03 there, wow. That's tough after 18.

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  11. That absolutely breaks my heart. Nicole, you are incredible...I don't know how you do it ALL and still manage to be so sweet and always helping others. I would be DRAINED after a 70 mile week, CONGRATS ON THAT!! Your long run kicked trash...mile 18...WOW! I got your thank you card and it made my day, thank you so so much. I loved seeing your hand writing:)

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  12. Wow! I can't believe that someone could be so mean! You handled this person's immaturity and unkindness so well. It just shows what a wonderful and caring person you are. :-) Great mileage too! My body would never handle that much mileage so I applaud you. Keep it up. Boston will be here before you know it!
    PS- I tagged you in my 11 questions post, but no worries if you don't do it. My feelings won't be hurt and I won't unfriend you on facebook. LOL :-)

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  13. So sorry to hear about that! Way to go on looking at the whole situation like you did! That will help your girls down the road when you can help them see difficult situations in a different light!

    God is GOOD!

    I love my Pure Cadence Brooks! Best shoes! Enjoy!

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  14. I read this a long time ago but came back again and WOW, this is a great run girl!! Solid! You have so much in store for you girl. So much!

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  15. You are so strong to bounce back and use the negative energy in your favor! 71 miles is amazing..I don't think I could get that in 2-3 weeks! WOW!

    I just started running in my Brooks Defyance and really love them!

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