About me

what's next?......5wks and counting and a surprise.....


well today marks 5wks since I've run. (crazy huh?)

do I miss it? Oh yes..I miss it soooooooooooo much. IT IS TWICE AS HARD this year b/c I just went through this 11 mos ago. blah.

A year ago today I was finishing my first marathon....with a stress fracture. ironic, huh?;) I just realized this as I started writing actually.

SO.....I have had zero desire to write lately...OR to share OR to read. I'm sorry...there is no excuse for my lack of friendship I've offered....it's not that I haven't been reading b/c it makes me sad...or maybe it is.
I have just sort of ostersized myself from the running/blogging world b/c it just reminds me that I'm not running and then I end up focussing on that and those feelings so I guess my coping mechanism has been to just try not to think about it more than I have to, hoping time will pass more quickly:(.
 I haven't felt bitter or anything at those who are running, but I just haven't been able to stay "involved" in my current state the way I'd like to....or perhaps I've just chosen not to, I don't know...I haven't conciously thought much about it...just did it.
Hope my ramblings make sense?.

The last few days i've been struggling with the feeling that I'm not a runner anymore...it's strange...I hope that this doesn't continue b/c I love to run....but lately I feel a bit indifferent.  It's hard to describe. It just feels like too much some days -  that i've had 2 stress fractures in less than a year. it kills me!!!

Last year when I hit 7wks of time off with no running, I plumitted into a deep depression and decided to go on anti-depressants bc it was so bad. it sucked. I didn't see it coming, I didn't anticipate it, I just woke up one day and it was there.
So, now here I am at week 5 and I feel that darkness just barely starting to creep in...It's the feeling of 

"okay, enough is enough...5wks is enough, I just can't do another 3 weeks, (maybe more) without running".

BUT....I don't have a choice, do I?;) sooooooooo...pressing on I go.... trying to be optimistic, trying to fill my time with other good things....and hoping I can keep out the darkness for a few more weeks.

I started spinning last week and Love it! It is really challenging....mostly b/c I have an AMAZING teacher. I have NEVER been to a class where the teacher was SO inspiring, SO motivating and knows JUST what to say to get you to work your hardest...and mostly she says Exactly what I need to hear! she speaks to my fitness heart:)
She has also quickly become a good friend as we learned we have lots of mutual friends, go to the same church and are having some similar struggles in our lives right now. This has been a HUGE blessing to me and I'm so thankful for her.   It is rare that you meet someone and within 5minutes you feel a kinship that is so real that you just KNOW that God has put them right there in front of you at that  TIME for a reason!.

This is Sara. 
Sweet, wonderful, CRAZY, Funny, inspiring, AMAZING Sara:)
Love her.

 I am hoping by spinning 2x a week and swimming 2x a week I can gain back some cardio fitness the next few weeks so I can slide back into running fairly smoothly....I am thinking I might need to use the Alter G treadmill for a while so i can get in some miles without putting all that weight on my leg:)

I am also planning to try CROSS FIT this week. I have always wanted to be more toned and Sarah ( my spin teacher) does it and is going to go with me:) yay!!!
I love new challenges! I THRIVE on productivity and progression.
If I am not progressing in my life in something that is very personal to me, it is impossible for me to feel happy.
I think that this spinning and crossfit will make me  a stronger athlete and for that i'm excited:)


So....I sort of....uuuhhhh..on a whim....without really thinking about it......Registered for the
St. George marathon on Oct 6.......
AAAAANNNNDD.....I sort of GOT IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SURPRISED and unsure of what to do now! I haven't even told steve and he very well might tell me we are not going but we'll see.
I want to get another 26.2 under my belt. I can't keep training for marathons to RACE them and end up injured...I think I want to try to run a few just for fun so I can get more experience before I try to RACE one....does this make sense??

so GOD WILLING (and my husband) I will be running St. George this year! CRAZY and SOOOOOOOOOO not part of my plan....but I am still secretly excited about the POSSIBILITY.

Hopefully Steve doesn't freak out when He finds out about this crazy thing I've done!:)


Here are some photos of recent happenings and things that have made me happy:)

 My husband gave me his Cannon 5D...and I've been learning to use it. I have NEVER been interested in photography but I guess my new free time and having My own VERY fancy camera has sparked an interest!

 My new dark hair....i have A LOT of dark chunks in it. At first it freaked me out, but now I love it:)

My Abs....from LAST year:( after marathon training...I am hoping this will inspire me to get them BACK!

Celebrating Steve's 36th birthday at Ruth's Chris this past saturday. YUMMY!!!

Mothers day with my BEAUTIFUL little girls. 
Megan on the left at 7.5yrs and Erika on the right at 4.5yrs

 My new Mothers day outfit. I LOVE pencil skirts and I've always wanted a white one. 
Love the cardi too, thanks Steve!

today I took the girls out of school and spend the day at KAHNEETA!  with my girls and my super FAST friend Becky. Check out her blog at: http://bexrunman86.blogspot.com/
The warm spring mineral water was AMAZING!!!!