About me

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Hashimotos

Another blogging buddy with Hashimotos sent this today and I loved it and felt it very fitting. I am speaking out about Hashimotos b/c I think there are alot more people suffering with this and other thyroid diseases that are overlooked or misdiagnosed.

thank you friend:)

Dear Hashi's Fighter

This fight is no longer for me. It is for you! It for every person that has come before me and with me that is struggling quietly and for everyone that will come after us that will struggle with Hashimotos.

Using my voice now will help you get the care you need and deserve, it will arm you with the information you need to be your own advocate, it will improve the standard of care by doctors that dismiss your symptoms and diminish the weight of what this disorder can do to the body and mind, it will give your struggle a voice to your family and friends that do not understand this disorder. it will show you that you do not have to accept what this disease says that you will be overweight and overtired and that there is a way out to health and happiness. That you can purse your bliss, your dreams, your goals....

This voice is not one of seeking pity but one needing compassion and understanding for autoimmune diseases. These diseases are not easy because they are not deadly. They can slowly rob people of their lives without proper care.

We Hashimotos Fighters do not want pity from family, friends, acquaintances or doctors but we long not to be in the closet quietly fighting for our health and happiness everyday of every moment.

As I use my voice to raise awareness for autoimmune disease, I join a group of fighters that have started to forge this path for us. I commit to all my friends that have Hashimotos that my goal is bring awareness and add a voice to our struggle.

When you have lost your way and can not find yourself, please look to me I will be your North. When I lose my way please remind me of the way. The love, kindness and understanding of another fighter is all we need to keep us moving forward.

In love, light and happiness, From one Hashi's Fighter to Another

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Choosing to remain positive and Focused....finding the Silver lining in seemingly bad news


Today was a day when I could have let myself be DEFEATED. When I opened my blood test results, I did sit at my kitchen table and CRY (like the ugly sobbing cry) for a good 3-4 min and rant to a few friends.... and then snapped out of it!!

At first I felt like throwing my hands in the air, dumping out my squash soup, grabbing a HUGE BOWL of ice cream and screaming "To hell with it!!", but alas, I finished my soup through tears, ate some green beans and carried on with my day. Discouraged, Of course, but I'll be FINE!:) I'm still alive right? have a beautiful family and am SO blessed. 


My test results came back and my TSH levels and antibodies are higher (worse ) then they have ever shown up before!. I thought all my discipline would have paid off but it looks like as the smoke clears and I clean out my body we sometimes see the "true" synopsis of what's going on.

My Dr said, these numbers more honestly reflect your condition...before you had all symptoms of Hypothyroid but your numbers didn't look that bad, NOW we are seeing on paper what matches your symptoms. He explained that sometimes when there is so much going on, bad food choices, high stress and lifestyle etc, it's like a cloudy mess and things don't show up clearly. Now that I've been eating clean and taking good supplements, we are seeing the REAL me, hashimotos and all:)

Good news is that there is still lots of room for improvement! If I feel this much better just from changing my diet, and my thyroid and antibodies still look like crap, then imagine how GREAT I will feel when I can actually get my thyroid and antibodies under control! 

I'm counting this as a positive!
We are increasing my Synthroid and adding in T3, as well as increasing my progesterone dosage. 

Regardless of whether My thyroid is behaving yet or not, I have made HUGE MAJOR changes in my diet and attitude, all of which have blessed me and family so much so THAT is what i'm choosing to focus on:)


onward and upward!.... Never give up because it could always be worse, right? Thankful for this challenge and all I'm learning. 



Here's one of the greatest blessings in my life: My hubby! surprised him with a photoshoot friday for our 11yr anniversary:) I have so much to be thankful for and this too shall pass!




Dear, "anonymous" commenter

As a kid I was bullied and as an adult I don't tolerate peoples bs.
My feelings are that if you feel like your comments are are not offensive then you should be willing to write and post them with your name beside it. It is a huge problem we face in this world that people hide behind their computer screens and judge and attack others.
No your comment wasn't terrible but it wasn't uplifting either. I have written many blog posts showing how I have CHOSEN to make the best of a really crapy situation. I have counted my blessings through out it all and have used this to try and help others.
I have ONE post where I vent. One. And you jump on there to tell me to change my attitude and not care ONLY about running in my life.
Who the hell are you? You think I care ONLY about running? Them you don't know me or know the passion that I put into my work and my children and my health.i have been living with TONNES of happiness in my life the last 6.5 mos since I haven't been able to run so CLEARLY I don't base all my happiness on running.
I am not writing this bc I feel I have to explain myself to you but to address people like you who wait for any opportunity to throw your judgement and criticiism  around.
Don't like what I have to say then don't read it. And if you DO feel like you have something important to add then atleast be forthcoming about who you are.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sort of, OVER this no running stuff......

Okay, vent coming....you've been warned....



I"m just sort of OVER this. I'm going to ADAPT and doing what they tell me ...which includes ZERO exercise of any kind except for the seemingly lame exercises I do at home  (i'm sure they're helping but i'm venting remember?), i'm eating the very few things I'm allowed to...ALOT of them,  I've shown an
EXTREME amount of discipline in my eyes and yet it's been 6.5 MONTHS!
SIX AND A HALF FRIGGING MONTHS! and I'm still not running.

I'm not even sure I REMEMBER how to run....... I just read a blog that said it can take 3 x as long ot gain fitness as it takes to lose it. Awesome. so does that mean IF I could start running tomorrow it would take 12-18mos to gain my previous fitness back? whats the point...I'll be 40 before I get anywhere near the shape I want to be in to accomplish the goals I have set and probably more prone to injury by then:/ Nothing wrong with 40 but I dont' have enough base years as a runner to START running fast like I want to at age 40:(

This is stupid. Hear me? stupid, stupid, STUPID! I want TO RUN.

Every day I get the thought to run but then I talk myself out of it and tell myself how foolish that would be b/c i'd end up injured again in a month. OR WOULD I?

I'm starting to wonder. I'm wondering if I should just say screw it and start running just one mile a day!
The ADAPT lady gave me a firm talking to and told me if I don't fix the problem i'll just keep getting injured.

 BUT....lets be honest. she doesn't really KNOW what the problem is.  No one does. NO one. EVERY single doctor and therapist I've seen has had a different "theory" on what is wrong with my hip/leg/foot.......
why the heck am I listening to anyone at this  point????
I guess...the other thing holding me back is that cardio at this point COULD interfere with my progress with my thyroid stuff.
boo.

ugh. I don't know what to do. I'm just fet up and ready to get my life back. this stinks.

Vent over.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

My Story: Hashimotos: Anxiety, depression, short temperedness, brain fog, night sweats etc. VRS FOOD, Hormones and thyroid: Is there a Link?



I have had so many women email me and contact me to thank me for sharing my symptoms, diagnosis and experiences b/c they can relate to them so much but didn't know what to do about it.......

I rec'd an email from a stranger the other day and here's part of what she said:

On another note,I have experienced extreme other issues that nobody has ever taken seriously! I wake up drenched in a cold sweat for nights out of the month,insomnia,extreme anxiety at times, unexplainable weight gain,brain fog,horrible PmS to the point where I feel as though I shld be In a locked up room by myself for a week out of the month, and so many more symptoms relatable to you!!!I seriously feel as though I'm reading my own symptoms!!!I have not pursued much medically because I feel as though I'll be looked at as an emotional wreck or hypochondriac!!! Thank you for sharing your story!!i am going to pursue getting my hormones tested!i also am feeling the need to probably change my diet completely! )Thanks so much for being honest!!You never know who's life you will touch!!:)

I have said this before but I will re-itterate it again. I CANNOT express strongly enough that if you are experienceing any of the symptoms described above, and i'd like to add depression, irritability, short temperedness, moodiness that it is important to consider having your hormones  and thyroid tested.
A LARGE amount of women go for YEARS undiagnosed who have hormone imbalances or thyroid isssues. THAT is a fact.
I did.
Often your GP will run a few simiple blood tests and tell you, you are fine. TSH is normal, hormones "appear" normal and send you on your way. They might even add some advice like "you just need to slow down, don't run as much, get more sleep etc"...but YOU KNOW that there's more to it than that, don't you?
for years I wondered why I was growing more and more impatient and hostile over little daily things. I couldn't control my emotions and would have embarassing outbursts. The HIGHS and LOWS of depression came with out notice. A few years ago, it all came to a head when I woke up one day with no notice and was so depressed that thoughts of SUICIDE flooded my mind. I needed to escape the dark thoughts and feelings that were plaguing my mind and the heavy anxiety on my chest that made it feel like I couldn't breath.  I couldn't stop thinking about it and how I just wanted to escape. Perhaps I could take some pills or just drive my car off a bridge...or perhaps it doesn't hurt that bad to slit your wrists in a cold bath? This is no joke.It went on for days until the urge was so strong I was scared. I knew logically how I was feeling didn't make sense but i couldn't make it go away. My husband came home one night and I broke down telling him that I was feeling so dark that I just wanted to Kill myself and I didn't now why. He immediately insisted I go to the doctor. I had been on an anti-depressant after Erika was born b/c I got post pardum with both my girls but didn't want to go back on it. I asked to sleep alone and be alone. Lucky for me, my husband is a smart man and wouldn't leave me alone. I ended up at the doctor and do you know what they did? they prescribed me zoloft.
NO tests were run, no hormones were checked.
3yrs later I sit here and i'm POSITIVE that I was dealing with massive hormone imbalance as well as thryroid / hashimotos which can cause extreme depression and anxiety.


5 mos ago when I started seeing Dr. Minarik at Elixia wellness group, He suggested that If I changed my diet (this was before we knew about the hashimotos or low progesterone) that he thought I wouldnt need to be ON an anti-depressant. I explained that I had tried to go off of it and would go crazy...even weaning off slowly and at the same time I was still having high highs and low lows ON it:(

We talked about my diet and he asked me if I had a SUGAR ADDICTION? that was easy. YES. sugar everyday. whether ice cream or chocolate bar or chocolate chips or hot chocolate or a Pepsi treat....YES. everyday. needed it.
processed food? too much.
Wheat? yes. YUMM! sandwhiches, pasta.....bliss.

He asked me to go off GLUTEN, SUGAR AND PROCESSED  food. That was 80% of my diet? HUH??? ugh. SO hard to do, but I was willing, or maybe DESPERATE.

I did this for 2wks and noticed a huge diff in my moods and the brain fog was gone. He asked me to start weaning off my anti-depressant (but was totally fine if It didnt' work and I still neeeded it). To my surprise I was off Zoloft in 2WEEKS!!! that is unheard of for an anti-depressant and I have been fine ever since. it's been 4 mos and I havn't needed it at all.

I cannot believe the change in my moods and temperment when I cut out gluten, sugar and processed food and that only got BETTER when I started the whole 30-autoimmune diet 5wks ago and cut out EVERYTHING other than meat, veggies , fruit and good fats, added in synthroid and some very specific supplements for my condition and discovered which foods i'm actually allergic to.

I feel like  I have  completely different brain. It is bizarre and incredible all at the same time.
Since then I have started a small dose of synthroid and a progesterone cream. I have little ups and downs but we are talking like speedbump size compared to the MOUNTAINS i was facing before.
FOOD.
HORMONES.
Who would have guessed?
Do you know that many are mistaken for having mental illness when really their hormones or thyroid are out of whack?
The body is such  a COMPLEX thing with so many SYSTEMS working at once and alll rely on eacother. If one thing gets really out of balance the whole train can get derailed!

My life is different now. I have to think ahead about all my meals. I have to always have organic grassfed and free range meats defrosted each day and ready for cooking. I must constantly stock my vegetables and get up extra early even on weekends to take my synthroid since I can't eat for an hour after I take it.
I can't load up my days like I used to and pretend to be superwoman. I have to think of ME first. feeding my body with GOOD balanced meals. it is alot of WORK. But it's worth it. Days like yesterday and today where I worked ALL day are hard and catch up with me. I'm still learning to pull back and build in TIME each day for meals. NO more eating on the fly. I have to tell clients, i'm sorry but I HAVE to eat my beef and vegetables before we start. It's sort of embarassing and I'm sure they're thinking i'm nuts but I understand the importance of it since I've seen the drastic change in my life. It's so important!!

Anyway....I have to go tuck my sweet baby girls into bed:)
I hope my ramblings are able to help someone.
On an exciting note, I can't wait to get this book in the mail tomorrow....another stranger with hashimotos emailed me and said it changed her life...I was SOLD by the title alone:)
I'm so glad to be done with the phase of my life where I HONESTLY felt like I was going CRAZY some days. I will never look back. I eat to LIVE now instead of LIVE to eat and it's so worth it:)



Sunday, February 9, 2014

Phantom running? and a few snow storm pics:)


(Remembering a lot of This lately:):)-Photo-my first marathon May 2011

I don't know many runners, personally, who have ever had to take more than 6mos completely off running bc of injury or illness so I feel it's hard to find anyone who can understand how I feel some days.

But then today I went and read a post on this blog I follow: Sunny2Runner
and it spoke to my heart! Another runner, just like me, who is coming out the other side of hashimotos disease and running again....and running WELL:) I cried while I read her post.
and I found out that this girl who I Idolize: Ms Fit Runner also has hashimotos.
It gives me hope to see these amazing women running strong and healthy and know that they once WERE, where I am NOW:)

At the beginning of January I had this feeling...or intuition that I was going to be running in February. Maybe not alot but that I would be running again....and now i'm here on Feb 9 and it's not looking good. BUUUUUUT..BUT BUT BUT, I am a person who believes in MIRACLES so even though it's not looking good, I'm still holding onto the possibility that it COULD happen and I visualize myself running every day and in my mind it feels so good! I reminisce on old PR Races and I can remember the feeling of burning lungs and legs and I miss it so much! It's like Phantom Running...it's so weird how vivid those memories are sometimes and that I can FEEL it when I close my eyes:) Today that feeling was especially STRONG and I just had the strongest urge to go RUN! I can't WAIT to feel that again! I swear to NEVER take running for granted again.

The truth is, the hashimotos isn't whats keeping me from running though.....it's my SI joint and hamstring and ....oh brother...it's just my whole right leg:)
So, when I went off wheat, dairy, sugar, soy, corn, grains, and the rest of the food pyramind;) last month I was really hopeful that my leg and foot was going to heal....b/c of the inflammation decreasing in my body but so far, no real noticeable change (insert scrunchy frustrated face), SO i'm finally surrending to Prolotherapy  for my SI joint, BUT I can't actually start it until my vitamin, thyroid, antibody and hormone levels are normalized b/c that can prevent it from working efffectively and if it's as painful as everyone says it is, then I want to give it it's BEST SHOT at working!!!

Tomorrow I get blood tests and am Praying for good results that show IMPROVEMENT!!!

On another note...Portland had a huge snowstorm so here's what I've been up to the last few days;)

...