About me

Saturday, August 24, 2013

3rd stress fracture. 3rd summer In a row

I am not even sure why I am coming on here to write. I am not sure what I think I need to hear or hope to hear in reply to any of this. The situation feels so helpless at times.
Since my femoral stress fracture last year, I was so cautious I didn't run a lot from August to December. Kept it under 30 miles a week and didnt get the courage up to train again til February.
I still only ran a max of 40 miles a week and none of my training was strenuous. Again, I tried to keep things very moderate so I could stay healthy!!

I noticed some mile aching in my foot the last few months and Steve said it we some tendinitis in my foot. It never bugged me when I ran but always ached after.
Eventually around July I noticed the muscles going up my outer lower leg wet getting tight. Then before I knew it, I had a stress fracture in my fibula. Same leg, same bone as my first stress fracture that I got at mile 22 of my first and only marathon in may of 2011
So here I am.
Heart more broken than ever. It's been 4 wks with no running.
I was half way through marathon training with my husband for a marathon on sept 28.
We were supposed to run together. His first and was hoping it would be my first healthy and injury free.
Now I am cheering and watching him train alone. The guy who doesn't even like to run.
I have been busy w weddings and getting ready to move so I've tried to avoid facing my feelings but its tough.
Especially this weekend watching everyone post their good to coast photos and watching my friends reaching new PRs. Infact I've been watching them make incredible strides the last two years and I am truly happy. But at the same time there is this ACHE in my heart. All I have ever wanted since I started running 3 yrs ago was to race and get fast and improve. I am beyond frustrated and hurting.
Running is a part of my soul and I am terrified that I will just NEVER be able to be the runner I WANT to be and that I know I CAN be.
I feel helpless.
I am not even looking forward to being able to run again in 4 wks bc it just means I am potentially closer to being injured all over again.  Why can't my body just work? What is wrong w me?!