About me

Monday, May 14, 2012

what's next?......5wks and counting and a surprise.....


well today marks 5wks since I've run. (crazy huh?)

do I miss it? Oh yes..I miss it soooooooooooo much. IT IS TWICE AS HARD this year b/c I just went through this 11 mos ago. blah.

A year ago today I was finishing my first marathon....with a stress fracture. ironic, huh?;) I just realized this as I started writing actually.

SO.....I have had zero desire to write lately...OR to share OR to read. I'm sorry...there is no excuse for my lack of friendship I've offered....it's not that I haven't been reading b/c it makes me sad...or maybe it is.
I have just sort of ostersized myself from the running/blogging world b/c it just reminds me that I'm not running and then I end up focussing on that and those feelings so I guess my coping mechanism has been to just try not to think about it more than I have to, hoping time will pass more quickly:(.
 I haven't felt bitter or anything at those who are running, but I just haven't been able to stay "involved" in my current state the way I'd like to....or perhaps I've just chosen not to, I don't know...I haven't conciously thought much about it...just did it.
Hope my ramblings make sense?.

The last few days i've been struggling with the feeling that I'm not a runner anymore...it's strange...I hope that this doesn't continue b/c I love to run....but lately I feel a bit indifferent.  It's hard to describe. It just feels like too much some days -  that i've had 2 stress fractures in less than a year. it kills me!!!

Last year when I hit 7wks of time off with no running, I plumitted into a deep depression and decided to go on anti-depressants bc it was so bad. it sucked. I didn't see it coming, I didn't anticipate it, I just woke up one day and it was there.
So, now here I am at week 5 and I feel that darkness just barely starting to creep in...It's the feeling of 

"okay, enough is enough...5wks is enough, I just can't do another 3 weeks, (maybe more) without running".

BUT....I don't have a choice, do I?;) sooooooooo...pressing on I go.... trying to be optimistic, trying to fill my time with other good things....and hoping I can keep out the darkness for a few more weeks.

I started spinning last week and Love it! It is really challenging....mostly b/c I have an AMAZING teacher. I have NEVER been to a class where the teacher was SO inspiring, SO motivating and knows JUST what to say to get you to work your hardest...and mostly she says Exactly what I need to hear! she speaks to my fitness heart:)
She has also quickly become a good friend as we learned we have lots of mutual friends, go to the same church and are having some similar struggles in our lives right now. This has been a HUGE blessing to me and I'm so thankful for her.   It is rare that you meet someone and within 5minutes you feel a kinship that is so real that you just KNOW that God has put them right there in front of you at that  TIME for a reason!.

This is Sara. 
Sweet, wonderful, CRAZY, Funny, inspiring, AMAZING Sara:)
Love her.

 I am hoping by spinning 2x a week and swimming 2x a week I can gain back some cardio fitness the next few weeks so I can slide back into running fairly smoothly....I am thinking I might need to use the Alter G treadmill for a while so i can get in some miles without putting all that weight on my leg:)

I am also planning to try CROSS FIT this week. I have always wanted to be more toned and Sarah ( my spin teacher) does it and is going to go with me:) yay!!!
I love new challenges! I THRIVE on productivity and progression.
If I am not progressing in my life in something that is very personal to me, it is impossible for me to feel happy.
I think that this spinning and crossfit will make me  a stronger athlete and for that i'm excited:)


So....I sort of....uuuhhhh..on a whim....without really thinking about it......Registered for the
St. George marathon on Oct 6.......
AAAAANNNNDD.....I sort of GOT IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SURPRISED and unsure of what to do now! I haven't even told steve and he very well might tell me we are not going but we'll see.
I want to get another 26.2 under my belt. I can't keep training for marathons to RACE them and end up injured...I think I want to try to run a few just for fun so I can get more experience before I try to RACE one....does this make sense??

so GOD WILLING (and my husband) I will be running St. George this year! CRAZY and SOOOOOOOOOO not part of my plan....but I am still secretly excited about the POSSIBILITY.

Hopefully Steve doesn't freak out when He finds out about this crazy thing I've done!:)


Here are some photos of recent happenings and things that have made me happy:)

 My husband gave me his Cannon 5D...and I've been learning to use it. I have NEVER been interested in photography but I guess my new free time and having My own VERY fancy camera has sparked an interest!

 My new dark hair....i have A LOT of dark chunks in it. At first it freaked me out, but now I love it:)

My Abs....from LAST year:( after marathon training...I am hoping this will inspire me to get them BACK!

Celebrating Steve's 36th birthday at Ruth's Chris this past saturday. YUMMY!!!

Mothers day with my BEAUTIFUL little girls. 
Megan on the left at 7.5yrs and Erika on the right at 4.5yrs

 My new Mothers day outfit. I LOVE pencil skirts and I've always wanted a white one. 
Love the cardi too, thanks Steve!

today I took the girls out of school and spend the day at KAHNEETA!  with my girls and my super FAST friend Becky. Check out her blog at: http://bexrunman86.blogspot.com/
The warm spring mineral water was AMAZING!!!!


  1. I feel FAMOUS!! Thank you:) you beautiful amazing woman!!! Truly grateful to have met you and proud to call you my friend! I can't wait to laugh, cry, sweat, and most importantly EAT with you along this journey!! Great things are ahead for you I can feel it in my bones ( and my bones NEVER lie) remember that EVERY great athlete fails, it's what you do after that matters. Get up, and try again. Being a runner is ingrained in your soul, no injury or person can take that from you, only doubt fear and giving up can take that from you, so fight to keep it there, protect it. You'll be there again only stronger mentally because of this:) LOVE your beautiful skinny soon to be crossfitting guts woman!!!!

  2. Love those abs, those are inspiring! Have you seen the positive pledge? http://www.thepositivepledge.com/ I just saw it yesterday for the first time and love it. SO sorry you are having to go through this again so soon, but I love that you signed up for a marathon. You will be back and amazing, keep your chin up.


    1. no....but i'm gonna go check it out RIGHT NOW!!!

  3. Things WILL get better from here! I had a stress fracture in my pelvis and took off FIVE months, came back in January 2011 and have run three marathons since then with NO other issues with stress fractures. So if I can do it, you totally can do it :)
    The two biggest things that I changed were: taking more rest days and eating more protein/meat and this seemed to make a world of difference.

    1. really???? I didn't know that...that makes me feel better! thank you for sharing!!!

  4. I love spin, I am addicted to it. I spin 90 minutes at least 2x a week. It is GREAT cross training for running. I am so glad that you love it! I have a spin bike at home so I can watch TV or read when I am working out. Be careful with cross fit. I am not a fan of it, but that doesn't mean that you won't like it. I know a lot of people that have gotten injured from it. Just be smart and you should be fine.

    That picture of your abs is INSANE. Holy moly chica!!!!! I wish I could have abs like that!

  5. I think we may have our next world class triathlete on our hands after this :) You're an excellent athelete, so it wouldn't be surprising if you take a liking to the other disciplines as well. You have so many good years of running ahead of you, so keep hanging in there.

  6. I always try to tell myself that injury is time to focus on something else that I normally neglect during training. Weights. Upper body. Legs. Swimming. Yoga.

    Of course the plan never seems to work as conceived, but is a way to work through the mental doldrum of an injury. And stress fractures are the worst. Sneaky, and you never know when they are really "healed." Hang in there, it will be gone.

  7. Keep hanging in there Nicole! keep busy! don't give up you are an amazing runner and have so much talent, I look foward to your BIG comback! Only 3 more weeks! no time at all!

  8. Look at those abs! When I was injured before, I did pool running and spin class. Spin is great for cross-training. I plan on doing crossfit next month. I am a little scared, not gonna lie.


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