About me

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Life changes in an instant....make sure you tell those you love, you love them.

A week ago....last wednesday, I completed my first hill workout, which was DREADFUL by the way, of 5 x 2min hill sprints. sounds easy....but not so much.
I came home and planned to shower and get ready before picking up Erika from Pre-school.

However, I got call from my husband that changed everything. His mom had had a stroke and was in the ICU...In CANADA....he immediately left work and came home. we packed as quickly as we could, got both girls from school and headed on our 7hr drive.
We arrived at her bedside at 8pm that night.

It was a massive stroke severely damaging the entire left side of her brain. Prognosis: a few days to live:( it was devastating. At first I couldn't stop crying.
for months I have been meaning to send her an email telling how thankful I am for the great job she did as a mother raising her son and what a fantastic father he is. I know she knew these things and I had said them before, but I am so mad that I kept putting it off and now it was too late.

The last week has been a crazy whirlwind of events. My daughters have been passed around from sister to sister and we spent most days back and forth at the hospital and her condo trying to organize and de-clutter her suite.

On Sunday night I went to see her at Midnight and say my last good byes. she died 2hrs later.

I still can't believe she is gone, it doesn't seem real. I keep waiting for her to come back.
this is my FIRST experience with death. I've never lost someone I was close to before. It's a very strange feeling. I don't feel weepy any more..just weird. I keep thinking about how she won't be there to see my girls grow up. she was such a GREAT Gran and it is a GREAT loss for them too.

This woman was blind since the age of 6yrs old. raised 2 boys by HERSELF, and did much to change and make the blind community in Vancouver, BC better. Loved and INSPIRATIONAL to so many, including myself.
We had our fair share of differences the first few years Steve and i were married...I don't think anyone would have been good enough for her baby boy, but we grew a lot and I really loved her.
she was only 67yrs old, but her health had gone down hill a lot the last few years. she lost her mother, brother and boyfriend of 12yrs in the last 2yrs. she had been depressed ever since. She still managed to get out to her ukulele groups and singing groups multiple times a week though. she didn't let the fact that she was in a wheel, chair and blind stop her from doing ANYTHING! she plays the piano, the banjo, the guitar, the organ, the ukulele and can knit and crochet like nobody's business!

She was just a PURE inspiration to watch. It is heart breaking that my husband is an orphan at the age or 35...he seems too young. his dad left when he was 10yrs old and never came back. and now his mom is gone.
I am so glad that I got to go up before Christmas and see her. On the last day we were there, she was late to get to her ukulele group, so she asked if I could do her hair. I did and then I quicky snapped THIS picture of her with the girls before she left. such a gem. I am SO thankful I took it!

and then we HAD to get Nautilus in the picture too:)
(He is Sharon's seeing eye dog)

While in Canada, I managed to get on the Treadmill every night at around 10pm and get my runs in.I actually ran my highest mileage week ever last week: 65 MILES!

The running seemed to be the best thing to help me burn off the stress and emotion of it all.

Unfortunately I had to return to Portland on Monday morning b/c i have my first bridal show I'm participating in next thursday and photos and photo books had not been ordered. I have spent over 20 hrs in front of this computer the last 2 days getting them all designed and ready.

Luckily I have wonderful friends from church who have brought me lunch and dinner or else I probably wouldn't have eaten as I've hardly moved.

I am humbled lately as I think of all the sacrifices others are making during this difficult time for us. My sister has 3 kids of her own and has taken on my 2 for the week.

My friends have brought me meals, sent me sweet messages......it testify's to me of the goodness in these women and I'm SO thankful to be blessed by them right now. It has lightened my load SO MUCH.
I will go back up to canada on Saturday.

I must have used up all my motivation last week b/c this week I have none.
I DID do my hill workout today:

6 x 2min hill sprints. paces for my hill sprints were:

6:15, 6:15, 6:45, 6:28, 6:31, 6:31

it was HARD and I hated every second of it.but I did it.
mileage might be a little low this week b/c of all thats going on.
we'll see.
Just wanted to give an update...don't have much else left in me to write...just drained and need to get re-focussed.
Life can be tough sometimes....BUT there is still so much goodness around us....


  1. Praying for you and your family!! A loss, such a great as a parent, is really hard. Keep clinging to the Word, the Lord and I know that His light and truth will be in this loss! <3

  2. Im so sorry Nicole. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  3. I was thinking today how short life is and I need to see my parents more often. They live an hour away but are getting up there in age. So sorry for your loss.

  4. Love you Nicole. thinking of you a ton. What a big moment in your life....the first time dealing with a death like this. I bet it really shakes your foundation a bit huh? and to be getting ready for this big bridal show on top of it...you're doing it Nicole...you're awesome. And great job on your hills!! Great paces!!

  5. We'll keep you in our prayers. I truly share your pain. We lost my mother-in-law suddenly with only 2 days notice while I was pregnant with our first. She was only 60 and waited her whole life for a daughter. She never got to meet our girls but I'm so thankful we paid to find out the gender of our baby before our vacation. She died a few days after we got back but spent two weeks knowing she was having a granddaughter and I am so thankful we could give that to her. Remember your girls will have their memories of her and so will you.

    Take care and know that it'll hurt but may bring you all closer together.

  6. Nicole, so sorry for your family's loss. The photos are wonderful. She will be remembered and honored by you and your family. Hugs to you!

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  8. Sorry for your loss, praying for you and your family.

  9. I am so sorry for the loss- she was an amazing woman- you can just tell- your husband was incredibly blessed and now you all have angel to watch over you all. God Bless You during this time. Great Pace on those hills sprints!

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