About me

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

There is just no time in summer for me to blog:( ....

Ugh... I wish I had time to blog and READ your blogs more....but wedding season is in FULL SWING and I litterally have ZERO time for this right now. makes me sad....hope you all don't think I don't love you if I'm not commenting on your blogs like I wish I could. I am trying to sneak in 5min here and there (like right now at 7:23am) to see what you're all up to.

quick update on me:

RUNNING:

-First week back, ran a total of 14 miles.
-had pain a few times in diff parts of my leg where the stress fracture was.
-still havne't run over 4 miles
-been keeping to 3-4mile runs and only about 4 days aweek
-I still feel really nervous about hurting myself again
-feeling a bit depressed, not much, but  a TEENSY bit about my lack of endurance. obviously it's normal when I havne't run at all for 2 mos but you know 4 miles...is tough:( that sucks.
- did run 4 miles in 29:30 yesterday...had to stop at a few lights between mile 3 and 4. my heart was RACING.
-not sure I am going ot be in peek racing condition for a 10K race in september OR  a half marathon in October but we'll see. This is hard for me to swallow.
-thinking about Boston registration and not sure I am ready to even THINK about training for another marathon.
-struggling with motivation to work myself back up from the ground up. It feels like an in impossible task right now to get back to running what I was:( and that breaks my heart:(

Well...that's all for now. Thanks for all your love and support!!

Hope summer keeps going well for all of you! please tell me what you've been up to?

Monday, July 11, 2011

Day 3.... running...just running...getting back into it.Some small feats already......

It is strange just running again. No immediate goals. Can't have any really....I can't push myself...I just have to run. just let my body ease it's way back into what it knows.
First day back:
1 mile. felt like death. a 9min pace felt extremely uncomfortable....this scared me .

day 2:
2 miles.
got out there..was runnin along and realized I was running 8:15-8:30 pace and wasn't dying...decided to just let my heart rate get up there...was craving a little bit of tempo action (which for me is not very fast right now).

first mile was 8:17....second mile.... 7:24!! it felt SO FRIGGIN amazing!!! I came home, sweaty, heart pounding. I was just so happy to know I COULD still run a 7:24 mile...but the fact that my heart was pounding as hard as it was and my legs were dead spoke loud and clear to me of how out of shape I am. to think 10wks ago I was doing 20 mile runs at that pace..and now 1 mile is a feat!:( but I am up for the challenge! I WILL climb my way back up and surpass where I was before. It's just the way I am. I don't mind a good healthy fight within myself:)

then today was :
day 3:
3 miles.
8:21 pace. Good run.felt nice to just be out there again at 6:30am....although I am so sleepy today now..my body isn't quite used to this yet:)

Thoughts:
I am the kind of person that needs a GOAL. A PLAN. A MOTIVATOR. So...this running just to run is sort of strange. It doesn't compel me to be smart about my eating....my brain is still partially in Vacation mode, but it will come. I hope the excitement I feel about getting up to run in the mornings lasts a while:)

Not sure if Iwll make that 2 mile race on Aug 13 but we'll see. it might be fun since it is ONLY 2 miles to just see how fast I can run by that point..i'm sure it won't be too fast...probably 7min pace but at least it will be a guaging point for me to see where I'm at progress wise.

I feel GRATEFUL for life...for my legs, for my lungs. Seriously...just so grateful.

The other stuff...the depression stuff I mentioned before is coming under control. IT was really quite scary there for a few days. I went to the doctor and she helped me out. Hopefully things continue to look up and the increasing endorphins every day do their job;)
thanks for all your support during my recovery......Love you girls!!

**Remember Stephanie @ Soggy Runner Girl who I spoke about in my last post....go check out her post on her amazing sub 1:28 half marathon last week here
Again, amazing job Stephanie!I was so blessed to have front row seats!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Moving on.....my 8 weeks is up! reflections on what I've learned...

I went to the doctor yesterday with new Xrays and I got the OKAY to run again!
Plan is no more than 5mile runs for the first 3 weeks and I have to start out with 1 mile, then 2, then 3 etc.
Honestly...I wouldn't care if he told me I had to stick to 1 mile a day for 3weeks, I am just looking forward to feeling the wind on my face and the bounce of my flesh as I stride along the neighborhood ( a feeling I took for granted). I am nervous, of course, not knowing for sure that there will not be pain. He has warned me I will be sore as these poor little legs have surely forgotten what it feels like to work;).

The sad part for me is that a week ago, I was DYING to run...then when he told me I had another 9 days...it's like my desire and motivation fizzled. I was pretty let down.
Then suddenly about 4 days ago I hit this WALL of depression. I am taking steps to get it resolved but it came on pretty fast and hard and I'm not entirely sure why...I have some ideas though....
I have been feeling really stressed from work and life stuff for about 6mos now and then with the lack of endorphins for 8wks, I think my body has hit rock bottom.

B/c of this, I am having a hard time feeling motivated to do ANYTHING, including running. BUT....I am still getting up tomorrow morning to run. I am hoping the weather will be nice and the world will be quiet so I can just absorb it and enjoy it and love it. 
I do have ONE clear feeling though. Gratitude. I feel grateful that I have lungs and legs. i can't wait to use them both again. and hopefully I will NEVER take them for granted again.

I have learned A LOT the last 8wks. Most of it is very internal and I don't have the skills to know how to vocalize or write it out. I'm sorry..i wish I could b/c I have a lot of deep feelings in there but I have a hard time expressing them...somehow what is in my heart/mind and what comes out of my mouth don't match up.

My PLAN for the next 2 mos is just to ENJOY running...not to worry too much about goals. I  know myself and I know I will want to push myself and the first go-ahead from the doc so I have to watch myself. There is plenty of time for goals...I hope i can just safely and slowly get back to a comfortable place where I am healthy enough to start doing hard workouts again:) THEN,  I will start training for that 10K and for my half marathon.
I really do think that this break came at the right time. Had I not been injured I would have continued to push forward, ignorant of the rest of MY life around me. I have learned to slow down a bit and take this in stride. I am PROUD of myself and that I truly handled this injury with optimism which in the past has NOT been my natural reaction AT ALL. I felt like I had diving help with that part as the optimism seemed to come too easily for me in a situation like this.  I have found joy in supporting others and humility in accepting God's will for me in this journey. I realize that it does not matter where others are at, I will achieve MY goals on MY time and I don't feel the need to compare myself at all. It does no good and prevents us from being able to have TRUE JOY for others and their accomplishments

One of the best feelings in the world is being truly happy for others successes and I felt that on Monday for my friends!

I think that through this injury, I have learned that I can appreciate and embrace my solo journey and I'm excited about that.
 So tomorrow marks a special day. ...I have NO idea what the next few months hold for me. I am just taking it One day at a time and promise to be grateful for EACH STEP from this time forward:)

Monday, July 4, 2011

My butt HURTS!!! 18 miles on bike, Sauvie half! and a few pics....

Hello friends!

Happy July 4th! Even though I am not American, I feel like one.  We have lived here for 6yrs and it really does feel like home. I love it and every time  I hear the national Anthem I get emotional, how can you not?
Today was the Sauvie Island Half Marathon. As I mentioned before, I have been planning on running this race for 2yrs. My goal was to break 1:30 on this race, but due to my stress fracture, it was a no-go for me.

My friends, however, have trained very hard to run this race and I couldn't imagine not being there to see them accomplish their goals. I think I get just as much joy out of seeing others reach their goals, and fight to the finish as I do doing it myself. It was a running fix I need VERY BADLY. These girls will probably never know how much food it was for MY soul to be able to ride a bike beside them and see that look in their eyes:)

My friend Stephanie from Soggy Runner Girl was amazing. I rode with her  a few times and then caught her at half a mile to go and she was tired...you could tell, she was working hard but she managed to pull out a kick and seriously was a ROCK star! she crossed the finish line in under 1:28! just incredible. She was the 6th female to finish in a race of over 1500 people!!! I was so proud of her and I only just met her!

My friend Tahsha, this was her first half marathon....she was aiming for 8min pace and she pulled out a 1:42 (7:51 pace)..she was working SO hard at the end that she was dry heaving and then puked when she crossed the finish line. Both these girls totally EMPTIED the TANK! seriously amazing!! it just warmed my heart
to see the FIRE in their eyes!!! I LOVE a competitive Spirit!!

My friend, Helen, was going for a sup 1:21 so she could qualify for the elite group for the Chicago marathon. This chick is HARD CORE! 8wks ago she PR'd in 1:21: 50 ish  and today.........she ran 1:18:15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is just nuts. way to go Helen!!

My friend Angie, ran 2 halfs back to back. one yesterday and one today! and PR'd in BOTH!! what a  trooper!

My friend Valerie was trying to break 2hrs but she got sick from eating 2 gu this morning and not drinking any water:(:( she was puking in the bush but still PR'd - that is pretty amazing!

THEN, at the very end...I got to see Amanda from Runninghood finish a "fun" marathon with her hubby in 3:24:25!!! If that is a "fun" marathon, i can't wait to see what she pulls off racing Boston next year! Amanda..you  are amazing! sorry I only got one pic b/c my stupid camera died! I was seriously SO excited when I saw yours and Waylon's smiling faces coming down the home stretch!

Today was a good day and a rough day. Not rough b/c I couldn't run...I really did get to fill my cup by cheering these fabulous women on...but there are other things in my life right now that are really painful and I am so glad I had a little therapy at this race. I love you all and am so proud of you! 
thanks for letting me ride beside you for a while....

I rode a total of 18 miles as I sprinted back and forth trying to check in on everyone. i dont' recommend doing that when the last time you rode a bike was when you were 12. my butt is SO bruised lol and my quads HURT, but it was worth it.

 My good friend Tanja and I ...I stopped to see her at an aid station 
 me on my bike...I look retarded lol....
pacing Stephanie (Soggy Runner girl) in the last half mile
Beautiful Tahsha and Valerie
Helen at mile 12.5