and what IS Destiny anyway?
Is it something you CREATE, or is it something that will happen IN SPITE of yourself?
I sort of think it is a little bit of both.
I think that we come to this earth destined to do certain things in our lives and as long as we don't completely flush our lives down the toilet, they will find a way of coming around.
Is it weird that I feel like I was destined to be a runner? Let me explain.
6yrs old-wanted to join a private track club. (who does that at age 6?!)
8yrs old-ran my first 400m race, WON. had never felt such a wonderful feeling in my life.
Teenage years....copped out, was insecure.
my mom is an alcoholic (and had a cocaine addiction from when I was 14-25yrs old) . Single mom of 3 girls. dirt poor. I took all this and allowed it to define me. As in, I'm not worthy of good things. I don't like myself. I am ugly, I am poor etc etc. At age 15, I was suicidal. I found bad friends, got drunk every weekend, smoked, tried a bunch of diff drugs. Things could have gone very differently for me, but SOMEONE must have been looking out for me.
It wasn't until I was 18yrs old and found God that I pulled out of that mentality. There is a lot more to this story and maybe someday I'll sit down and write it all out. For this posts purposes we'll leave it at that.
Throughout my late teens and all through my 20's when People talked about running, I would always feel the urge to jump in and say "Oh, I'm a runner!!"...but luckily before I opened my mouth, I would remember that I hadn't run since I was 13/14yrs old :/
For the life of me, I couldn't make sense out of why I FELT like a runner when I hadn't run in over 10yrs??!
NOW, in hindsight, I believe it was b/c I was destined to follow that path. I believe that God gave me Legs to run. It is one of my talents and I hope to use it to fulfill my dreams and to eventually inspire others to chase theirs. I want to help others see that they can do anything they set their minds to. I love to lift others and help them overcome their fears, reach their goals.
Maybe Running is a tool to do that? I'm not sure.
It took me a long time to finally take the necessary steps to start running, but I am here now:)
2.5yrs ago, I started running. 6-8 miles a WEEK. IT wasn't much but it was a start. 2yrs ago, I ran my first half marathon with only 6wks training of about 20 miles a week and one 10 mile run:) for the next year after that I just ran off and on about 18miles a week and sometimes not for months at a time. I consider my REAL running start 1yr ago. In September of 2010, I got on my computer and emailed a coach. I swallowed my pride and fear of embarassment and told him that I thought I had some potential but had no idea how to tap into it. I told him that I have felt like a runner my whole life and I wanted to make into a reality and needed his help.
Well that was 1 yr ago.
I had run 3 half marathons at that point and couldn't get under 1:46. I was SO frustrated.
In 8 mos I:
ran a 19:45 5K
a 42:30 10K
a 1:32:18 half marathon
and a 3:35 first marathon on a stress fractured leg.....
that lead to 2.5 mos off and now I have been back running for 8wks.
If I can do that in 8 months, then I truly believe that My potential is limitless. I am done with words like "well see, maybe, some day". No. I WILL run that 3:15 marathon next year. I WILL run that sub 19min 5 K. I WILL run a sub 40min 10K and I WILL run that sub 1:30 half marathon...Because I believe that My destiny is to achieve the dreams I have always had of being a competitive runner.
This 10K I ran on Saturday was very EYE OPENING to me. I really didn't think I was gonna run faster than 44-45min at best. I wasn't being Modest....I REALLY didn't think it was possible to get within 24 seconds of my PR off of 8wks of base building. In my sleep I may have DREAMED that, but I was not expecting it AT ALL.
It has brought me back to thinking about my DESTINY. I hadn't thought about it for a while, but after Saturday, I started to feel again like maybe I am stronger than I think and maybe I really CAN achieve even the biggest dreams. I am not limiting myself anymore. I will accomplish the first set of goals I listed above and then i will keep going. I'm SO excited for the future.
*I hope that I dont' sound like a complete dork by writing all this...it sort of makes me feel vulnerable, But i hope it will inspire some of you to be open and honest about your dreams and feelings about what you are meant to do and what you are capable of doing. We so often limit ourselves...and WHY?! We are of Divine Destiny and we can do ANYTHING. I feel so strongly about this. Nothing makes me happier than seeing someone pushing fear and doubt aside and chasing a dream.
I always felt a lot of gratitude this weekend for my injury b/c it has changed my perspective on running. I feel JOY again to run. Just run. to have my HEALTH. I will NEVER take running for granted again. It is a gift. It brings joy, serenity, confidence and strength into my life.
ONE more thing....
I found this today and LOVED it. It speaks to my heart. This is so true for me. When I run, I am almost ALWAYS thinking about the Possibilities. That is what gets me out of bed every morning....
Oh..P.S Before I forget. I got accepted into BOSTON today:):)
What do you think Destiny is?
What is yours?
Are you doing everything you can to follow it?