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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Stress Fracture-X RAY pics

well....I finally made the trip to Steves clinic today to get an XRAY.

At first when we put the film up it didn't jump out at us...I thought I was good and was already thinking about trying to run again tomorrow morning...but then we saw it. You can see the small callus formation....and when we measured it....it is EXACTLY at the spot on my leg that hurts and that I felt the sharp pain at mile 22 of my marathon:(:(




if you look closely you can see where steve circled the area with a pencil.

close-up


The Bright Side: My 3:35:43 looks pretty darn good for a first marathon now when I know I ran the last 4.2 miles with a stress fracture on my fibula! LOL...I'm kidding...(well half kidding;) ha ha.

Today has been tough but I am proud I have not yet broke down crying. I have heard from friends about their successful races this weekend and seen pics online about all the great running people are doing and I have tried to be supportive and kind and not let it get me down b/c I have another 4 WEEKS OF NO RUNNING ahead of me:(

Some thoughts I've had today: (read all the way through, they start off rough but get better:)


-I don't EVER want this to happen again. SO..what can I do differently? like I said...try a different approach to training...more conservative for sure-be CAREFUL.

-I can accept the fact that this is my fate. done. but what makes me feel most sad is that I have been ANXIOUSLY waiting for summer running. I HATE running for 8 mos out of the year at 6am ALONE, in the DARK, BUT I do it b/c I look forward to the reward of the summer morning runs. it's light by 5:30am and I get this amazing spiritual and emotional regeneration on my 3 mo's of summer runs...but now I am missing it:( sure I will hopefully be running again by August..but then I have 4-6wks at best of nice morning runs where  I don't need pepper spray b/c I live in the friggin GHETTO and I'm worried I'm going to be raped or mugged on the streets of gresham running lone in the dark. sigh.
THIS is hard for me.
I don't want to be up and running again right when I got back into another 9 mo's of the what I call the HARD running months....the ones that are really hard to get out of bed for and test your commitment as an athlete.  I am missing the rewarding months of running for my commitment during the hard months. I feel robbed. why couldn't I get the stress fracture in December? THAT would have been awesome!!!:):) an excuse to not get up and run in the FREEZING cold! I would totally take that!;)

-now I have to find an alternative. Steve says that the eliptical isn't a GREAT idea....the more rest the faster i will heal....so it looks like I need to sneak into our pool at 6am (doesn't open til 9am) lol and try to do some AQUA Jogging:)

-I am NOT going to let this ruin me. I am a committed person. I am stronger than ANY injury.

-I WILL come back...and I will come back with a vengeance.

-I am really sad about missing sauvie island half on July 4th as I mentioned previously...but this injury will fuel my desire and NEXT year I will finish in the top 10 of that race! mark my words...and it is a BIG race. When I set my mind to something .I do it.

-God never gives us something that we can't handle. I believe that. So, obviously this is not out of my league of struggles. I will survive.

-When I think THIS sucks, I try to think of others and how they are handling MUCH worse trials than me. At least I still have my children, my husband, my health (in the rest of my body:)), a roof over my head, a car to drive, a job, money in the bank, a God who loves me, My Savior Jesus Christ who understands EVERYTHING we go through, Prayer, the Scriptures, a gym at my disposal to strengthen the rest of my body, good friends, Love surrounding me, blogger buddies like you guys, a free country to live in, clothes on my back....I could go on and on...so this tiny little stress fracture I am dealing with is NOT going to take me down.
No MA'AM! MY LIFE IS SO BLESSED and the next 4wks will fly by as I keep myself focused on staying strong and finding JOY in the JOURNEY:)

-I know the next 4wks is going to have moments when I don't feel so optimistic and I just want to throw a fit. On those days and in those moments, I promise myself I will drop to my knees and pray for the ability to stay positive and to be able to count my blessings.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who gives me trials to strengthen me and make me a better, stronger person.

10 comments:

  1. HUGS my friend!! Not happy with what I see but I am glad you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This is tough! You are one strong mama!! You can get through this...know that I am just a call, text, email away! You return will be epic! HUGS!

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  2. I am so sorry!!! You will get through this :) You have your priorities straight and seem realistic about the emotional roller coaster this next month holds. You will come back stronger :) Hopefully we will have great weather in Sept ad October :) Sending fast healing vibes your way!

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  3. oh no! I hope you heal really really fast!! Just stay positive and don't push yourself... rest and let your body heal.

    on another note... My husband is from Gresham and that is where his mom, grandmother, and brother still live... we'll be there next week! lol

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  4. Nicole
    First off you are one strong girl!!!! I mean STRONG!!! A. You finished the race with all of that going on! Huge just doing that in itself! B. You freakin rocked it to with the hurt leg and the HEAT of that day u did amazing!!!! C. You looked good doing it I mean seriously you should be proud every single time you open your blog with that picture at the very top look look how amazing you are!!!! And girl you did a marathon a marathon with all that you had going on the weeks before your race you still decided to run it where there are many that would have not but YOU did and it shows a ton about you and your personality!!! We all know what a gift for running you have been given and you will totally rock I mean rock the next race you do!!!!! So sorry to hear about your leg but I loved how positive you are to know that things like this make you stronger!! Your an amazing woman !!!! Heal that leg up I'm sending lots of prayers for your leg!!! I do have one complaint ..... I wish u lived closer!!!:) I'd come give u a hug!!! Loves!!!

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  5. Nicole
    Your amazing!!! Seriously A. You not only finished with all of that going on with your leg B. You freaking rocked it even with the leg and the given heat of the day!!! C. You did not just any race you did a marathon a marathon Nicole with the weeks before you race most well wait Almost all people would drop out and not do it but nope not Nicole I love your drive your such a driven person ! D. You looked good running it I mean Its such motivation when i open your blog and see that amazing picture of that strong runner on the top of the blog such motivation!!! You should be SO proud of yourself!!! Seriously!!! I loved what u said about realizing thus WILL make you stronger!!!! You know it girl they better watch out when your all healed you will tackle any race you do yes cause u are truly a gifted runner but also your drive!!! Girl so sorry to hear about the leg but keep up all those positive vibes! I'll be praying for that leg!!!! I do have one complaint ...... Why dont you live closer id come give u a huge hug!!!! Loves!!!!!

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  6. 3:35 on a stress fracture....Woman, you are amazing.

    I am tearing up reading your post because I know exactly how you feel. You are so beautiful, talented and optimistic. I am so proud of you for looking at things with the Savior in mind and knowing that HE is there for you at all times!! Please call me anytime because I KNOW what you are going through. You WILL be in the top 3 at your July 4th race next year. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I am PRAYING FOR YOU!!
    -Janae

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  7. Oh Nicole! First of all, SO sorry about the stress fracture. So impressed with your attitude but I do know how hard it is. Part of processing is frustration....I had a stress fracture in the neck of my femur (difficult place to recover) I was off for almost 14 weeks. At first I was devastated, so many plans washed up, my stress reliever GONE, my favorite way of justifying the 4000 calories I eat a day went out the window.....As time went on though, I was actually even able to find a little tiny bit of enjoyment my situation. For once I had no options. I could NOT run. I couldn't stress about not getting a run in during my busy life because my body COULDN'T. The forced break was truly one of the greatest disguised blessings I've been given in awhile. I'm not sure I would be where I am right now had I not had to sit and reevaluate and get my fire back!!!

    Your second point about summer running-oh how I relate to that!!!!! Frozen snot, frozen eyelashes, cold slippery crap all winter in hopes of beautiful calm sunny summer runs....

    This is an awesome post Nicole. You are growing through this already. Your outlook is fantastic. Embrace your situation as sh*tty as it may seem and know and trust you will be back stronger than ever! I forget but didn't you somehow get to where you are in like only 7 months or something!!!! You will far exceed that in the next couple of years. This will be a distant memory and I predict better than just top 10:) Have a great day girlie! As always, thanks for your great comments!

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  8. I'm so far behind on here!! Will be back to catch up later. :) YOu look awesome in your pumping iron pics!

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  9. Hi!
    I just discovered your blog and am so thankful I did! I am a collegiate runner that has been struggling with injuries this summer, and like you, after working SO hard this past couple of seasons...and has big running dreams too. Not saying that it's great that you are injured int the least bit, but it is great knowing that there is someone else out there that knows what it's like not being able to run! - someone I can relate too, it's really hard!! - in SO many ways! But I love that you pointed out that Jesus won't give us anything that is too hard for us to handle. My mom has been telling me lately about that verse that says, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus" (1 Thess. 5:18). She was saying that that doesn't mean to just be thankful when it's all going great and your training is going awesome, but even when you are injured and life just seems to plain out suck lol. This too will pass, she said. I encourage you to keep on trusting God that he knows what he is doing, though we might not always be able to see the bigger picture, as I too am learning that.

    Thanks again! =)

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  10. Hi!
    I just discovered your blog and am so thankful I did! I am a collegiate runner that has been struggling with injuries this summer, and like you, after working SO hard this past couple of seasons...and has big running dreams too. Not saying that it's great that you are injured int the least bit, but it is great knowing that there is someone else out there that knows what it's like not being able to run! - someone I can relate too, it's really hard!! - in SO many ways! But I love that you pointed out that Jesus won't give us anything that is too hard for us to handle. My mom has been telling me lately about that verse that says, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus" (1 Thess. 5:18). She was saying that that doesn't mean to just be thankful when it's all going great and your training is going awesome, but even when you are injured and life just seems to plain out suck lol. This too will pass, she said. I encourage you to keep on trusting God that he knows what he is doing, though we might not always be able to see the bigger picture, as I too am learning that.

    Thanks again! =)

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