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Monday, April 18, 2011

so many emotions...

I loved watching Boston this morning...didn't you?

but my heart was heavy. I woke this morning around 6am (just shifting in my sleep) and as usual the first thought in my mind was "marathon":):) meaning...MY marathon. Lately I wake up every morning thinking about it..visualizing it...but this morning I woke up, had that thought, felt happy for one brief moment and then my heart sunk.
It might not happen I thought.

all of this is new to me and my biggest fear has been injury.
Maybe it was too much running...my body is still new to this..perhaps I DID over train?
my legs were tired on friday from the get -go and unable to run that rough terrain. I ran 15miles on wed. I think I just over did it.

I feel angry.
I feel sad.
I know that isn't going to help but that is how I feel.

in the midst of it all, I keep thinking maybe it won't be that bad. I've done some research and it says that if you stay off it til ALL pain goes away then you can try to resume running as long as you back off your mileage. so my question is If I do start running again in a week, will I be able to maintain enough miles/fitness to race and do WELL in My marathon???????????
only time will tell I guess.

I am just not ready to give up on this journey or dream. Not yet.
not without a fight.

My ankle feels Al ot better and I honestly think it will be pain free by friday which will be one whole week off running.

problem is...friday was supposed to be my big and last 20 miler so I will have to skip that......
I just want to heal and be able to run long term. That is my number 1 goal, I just hope it doesn't mean giving up Windermere:(

thanks for listening.....I have NO experience going through any of this....the training OR the disappointment and it SUCKS. thanks for listening blogging friends:)
have a GREAT Monday!!!
N.

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